Nothing More to Say
by pinky's creature feature
Summary: This is a crossover AU where Tommy and Adam meet after the events of Warrior but during the events of 50/50. Because this had to happen and I was the one dumb enough to take it on.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Cancer. That's what the doctor said. That single word turned Adam's world upside down. Six letters and his life will never be the same. After he left his doctor's office he had wondered aimlessly around the hospital complex before doing what any normal, rational person would do when they just found out they have spinal cancer. He went to a bar and got hammered.

That's how he found himself, and unknown amount of hours and whiskey later, walking a zigzag down the dark damp sidewalk. Of course it had rained. He wasn't sure what time it was but it had to be early. Or late. Whatever.

It appeared that the buses had stopped running for the night, but it didn't matter. Adam didn't want to go home anyways. Last thing he wanted to do was to explain to Rachel that: not only did he have cancer, but he, who never drank, was currently shit faced.

Adam continued down the road. It felt like he hadn't been walking long but he soon found himself in a not so familiar part of town. Not to far up the street was a bright shining light that ended up being a all night diner that apparently specialized in steak and eggs. With a shrug Adam pulled open the door and immediately stumbled over the jam.

His face burned with alcohol and embarrassment and he straightened himself up and slid quickly in the closest booth to the door. Moments later the sweet middle aged waitress brought him a cup of coffee. He shook his head when she asked if he wanted anything to eat. He must look horrible to cause the look of pity in the woman's eyes.

Adam sits for a while, just watching the street lights reflect on the empty streets, sipping on his overly strong and bitter coffee. After a while he noticed a lone form walking up the street, his shoulders hunched and the hood of the gray hoodie pulled up over his head, the thick fabric pulled tight across his broad shoulders.

"He looks like a thug." Adam thought absently as he watched him approach the diner.

The stranger pulled open the door and for a moment their eyes met. The hardness and anger in those gray eyes shocked Adam and he quickly looked away, finding his coffee suddenly extremely interesting. The man took a seat at the bar right in Adam's eye line. Adam was almost afraid to look at him again but he quickly found himself running his eyes over that strong back.

What was he thinking? He really needs to stop looking at this guy. Why is he looking anyways? Adam shook his head and and took another long pull of his coffee.

The stranger sipped at his own cup of coffee, the entire diner was quite other than the bustle of the late night employees. Before too long he felt eyes on him and when he found their source, those hard gray eyes were staring at him. The man looked like thunder, as he twirled a tooth pick between his surprisingly thick lips. Adam looked away first turning his body purposely towards the window letting his hazy mind wonder to things that didn't scare him like caner, or large men who will probably beat him up.

A while later Adam was pulled from his thoughts by nature screaming at him. He pulled his heavy limbs from the booth and did his best to walk as steady as possible as he made his way to the restrooms.

Rage simmered in Tommy's chest as he stooped over the diner counter. His body was sore from the beating he took in the match earlier that evening (That he won.) but that he barely noticed over the heaviness in his chest. He found his father in their hotel room drunk again. He had been sober 6 months before this as far as Tommy knew.

Tommy had noticed his absence from the locker room shortly after the fight. He had looked all over, for some unknown reason he wanted to share the excitement of a win with his old man. When he had finally given up and returned to the hotel, he had found his father polishing off his second bottle of whiskey.

Without a word Tommy had gathered his things and threw them in a duffel bag and left. He hailed a taxi and found himself at another hotel in the middle of a unfamiliar town. He had thrown his bags on the bed and stormed out into the night, too fired up to be cooped up in the small room without breaking something. He didn't know how long he had walked but his legs felt heavy, so it must have been for a while before he stopped at a bar. He had settled onto a bar stool and after a few drinks the liquor tasted vile so he had settled his tab and stormed back out on the streets.

His anger had ebbed a bit when he found his way into a dingy all night diner. Now he was annoyed at the squirrelly little jack off in the booth behind him. The little bitch had been staring at him since he walked in the door. He could feel the skinny bastard watching him now in his stupid sweater. He was obviously drunk with the way he swayed in his seat. Tommy kept glancing at him through the mirror behind the bar as he nursed his black coffee.

When the little fuck walked past him towards the restrooms, Tommy stood to follow him. Maybe teaching him a little lesson was just what Tommy needed. He rolled his shoulders and popped his knuckles before pushing the restroom door open.

Adam sighed as he washed his hands. He debated on crawling back home, knowing that he couldn't sit in the coffee shop all night. He startled a bit when he heard the door slam open and when he turned he saw the big thug walking in.

Adam cleared his throat and tried to walk passed the man and out the door but was stopped with a hand on his chest. Seconds later the hand closed into a fist and he was shoved against the wall. Sparks of white lightening shot from the back of Adam's head down his back and he was suddenly reminded that he was in constant pain. He squeezed his eyes closed and huffed out a short pained breath before trying to pull the hand away from his chest. Big surprised he fail miserably.

"What you staring at boy?" The man asked. His voice was low an thick with a Pittsburgh accent.

"N-Nothing. I wasn't staring I swear. I've just had a few too many and I was-" Adam stuttered out before we was pulled away and slammed back into the wall. The stormy eye man was bearing down on him, resting is other arm against the wall above him. Adam prayed that he'd walk away from this.

"Bull shit. What? Got something to say to me?" The man turned and spat his tooth pick on the floor. "I could wipe the floor with you."

"I- I have no doubt.. look," Adam cleared his throat and raised his hands in what he hoped was a sign of submission. His fingers trembled but he tried to ignore it. "I've had a really bad day and I'm drunk. Let me go and I'll call a cab and leave you alone."

The man laughed. Actually laughed. "What do you know about bad days hmm?" His fist twisted tighter in Adam's shirt. His eyes level with Adam's. He could feel his heart slamming against his chest.

"Look. I found out today.. that I have cancer. So please. Can you just let me go and let me go back to contemplating how I have a 50/50 chance of dying?" Adam closed his eyes again, the throb in his lower back reminding him all to well of the parasite inside his body.

"You lie." The man spat.

"I'm not." Adam could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm 27 and I may be dead by this time next year. Do you think you could just let me the fuck go?" It was Adam's turn to spit out the words. Surging with anger Adam began to struggle uselessly, kicking at the legs that had pressed up against his and scratching desperately at the hand at his chest.

Adam pounded his fists against the arm restraining him but soon he was tired and the tear threatening his eyes finally spilled over. "Please." He whispered sagging back against the wall.

After a few silent moments Adam realized the hand in his shirt had loosened. When he dared, he raised his eyes too meet the stranger's and he froze again. Those eyes were intense but not with the need for violence. Something else was swimming in those depths and it made for a strange feeling in Adam's chest.

"What's your name?" That deep thick voice whispered.

"A-Adam." He could barley hear himself speak but he had no doubt that the man had heard him considering he was pressed against him from shoulder to thigh. The feeling of that hard, muscled body against his gave Adam a clear view of the power in it. His cheeks grew red when he felt his body start to respond to the closeness. "Oh god. Please no." he thought as he tried to pull his lower body away from the strangers hoping he wouldn't notice but found himself just pressed tighter against the wall.

"Well Adam. I'm Tommy." The man- Tommy's eyes flickered down for a second and Adam swore he died a little right then. Tommy's lips quirked into a almost grin. "I'll tell you right now. My mother died of cancer. If your lying I will turn you into a pretzel."

Adam could be embarrassed about the sound he made later. "If you don't believe me I have a copy of my MRI in my bag back at the table."

Tommy released his shirt and gave him a not so gentle shove in the direction of the door. Adam stumbled into the door and his face burned red when he realized he needed to pull not push.

The two of them returned to booth and Adam tried not to meet Tommy's eye as he dug in his bag for the glossy paper showing the tumor eating away at his spine. He flattens the slightly wrinkled paper on the table and turned it towards Tommy.

"There." he pointed to the white area near his hip. "Apparently the tumor is eating away at my spine and hip...a few months ago I started having lower back pain and after a battery of test..I find out today I have a massive tumor."

"Do you know what type it is?" Tommy asked running the tip of his fingers over the paper's surface.

"Schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma." Adam grinned to himself proud that he didn't slur that too badly.

Tommy raised a brow and let out a whistle. "That sure is a mouthful."

"Yeah. I just.. I don't want to think about it right now. I'm not ready to go home and face reality, to look my girl in the face and tell her that my survival rate is only 50/50..god.. I don't even drink.." Adam knew he was rambling now but talking kept his mind off the thread of fear snaking around his chest.

"Well if you don't want to go home; I have a room not too far from here with a mini bar. I leave to go back to Pittsburgh tomorrow."

"What are you doing in Seattle anyways?" Adam asked avoiding the obvious invitation.

"I had a fight. I'm a MMA fighter." Tommy said leaning back in the booth.

"Really?" Adam couldn't hide the smile that spread across his face. "My friend Kyle watches that all the time. Did you win?"

"Of course."

Adam chuckled to himself. "Did you say you had a mini bar?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Adam was giggling again. He didn't know what was so funny but whatever. Tommy and him had walked back to his hotel room sharing a little small talk. At first Adam had been apprehensive about going to a strangers hotel room (a stranger that had almost beaten him to a pulp) but as soon as they were inside and drinks were poured Adam had found himself relaxing.

Tommy had pulled off his hoodie and was seated with his back against the headboard wearing just his jeans and a white wife beater. Adam couldn't help but be impressed by the man's build and after the first drink he had mustered up the courage to ask what the fuck he was doing to get traps like that. They ended up sitting and talking, well mainly Adam talked and Tommy listened, for what felt like hours.

"Is it hot in here? I'm burning up.." Adam muttered from his perch on the far end of the bed.

"You really don't drink much do you?" Tommy asked a deep chuckle rumbling from his chest.

"It's the fucking sweater.." Adam muttered yanking the offending garment over his head where it promptly got tangled on his arms. Tommy shook his head as he reached out and pulled the sweater from Adam's flailing arms. For a moment their eyes met and both of them hung on to that eye contact a little too long.

Adam cleared his throat and started plucking open the first few buttons of his shirt.

"If your putting on a show; that's one shitty strip tease." Tommy teased polishing off his drink.

Adam sputtered and felt heat spreading across his cheeks. "I- I wasn't.." he was at a loss for words. When he met Tommy's eyes again they were dark with mischief.

Adam fell into a awkward silence and before long he found himself looking at the other man. Really looking. Noticing the fine sprinkle of freckles across his nose and cheeks, the long lashes Rachel would kill for framing those gray eyes, and those pouty lips that should look out of place on such a man's face but seemed to be the only choice to match the rest.

Adam shook his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He was surprised to see it was only pushing 3 am. He then busied himself with any app he could find. After only a few seconds of browsing his phone was yanked out of his hands.

"What the fuck? Give that back!" Adam cried reaching for his phone that was dangling from Tommy's fingers.

A huge grin spread across Tommy's face and he easily evaded Adam's drunken reaching. Adam crawled up on his knees and reached again but Tommy quickly moved the phone further out of his reach. Adam huffed out a frustrated breath and quickly crawled over Tommy stretching his arm out while supporting himself with the other against the headboard.

Adam glanced down a froze. His knees were on either side of Tommy's hips and his face was mere inches from Tommy's, close enough he could feel the staccato of his breath against his cheek as he chuckled at him. Before Adam could even think he was pulled in by the gravity of those lips pressing his to Tommy's in a slightly sloppy and harsh kiss.

For a split second Tommy didn't respond, but that moment passed and Tommy began to eagerly devour Adam's lips drawing a started moan out of the smaller man. Tommy sucked in Adam's bottom lip and gave it a gentle bite before slipping his tongue along the seam of his lips.

Adam's spine stiffened as his mind caught up with what they were doing and he quickly tried to pull away but found Tommy's arms wrapped firmly around his waist.

"Uh.. look I don't know what just happened but I should go. I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend. I'm sorry.. I need to go." Adam babbled trying to make his heavy limbs work and free himself from Tommy's grip.

"Shut up." Tommy said simply as he shifted his weight and easily had Adam on his back in seconds. Tommy grinned down at him as Adam pushed against his shoulders, his face burning bright red.

"I'm not gay!" he repeated.

"Neither am I." Tommy silenced his with another kiss. Adam's fingers tangled in the well worn undershirt as they decided whether to pull him closer or push him away. "Stop thinking." Tommy ordered before biting the underside of his jaw with enough force to make Adam yelp.

Adam's heart was racing and when Tommy lowered his body onto his, settling between his thighs, he was surprised to feel himself already half erect.

"When did that happen?" he wondered, but his thoughts were cut short when Tommy's hand started working to pull his shirt loose from his slacks. He buried his fingers in Tommy's surprisingly soft hair and pulled him in attacking his lips, sucking Tommy's tongue into his mouth, wringing a low rumbling groan from the man.

Adam let out an embarrassing moan as Tommy's hips moved against his letting him feel the answering hardness there. He really shouldn't be turned on by this but he could feel heat coiling in his belly as he went from half erect to painfully hard in a matter of what felt like seconds.

Tommy smiled against his lips as he worked a warm hand under Adam's shirt, his fingers nearly spanning Adam's waist as they slowly slid up his body. He shuddered, his hips bucking against Tommy's as those fingers found his nipple, plucking and teasing it into a hard pebble before moving to the other to give it the same treatment.

Adam broke the kiss then yanked Tommy's undershirt over his head, his hands traveling over those broad shoulders and down the well muscled back. Adam bit at the tattoo over his collar bone before sucking on the inked skin, leaving his own mark.

Tommy growled, grinding his erection against Adam's and for a moment Adam was afraid he was going to come in his pants like a teenager.

"Tommy..." Adam gasped as Tommy pulled open the fly on his slacks and slipped a hand inside running his fingers over the hard length straining against gray boxer briefs. "Oh shit." Adam's eyes nearly rolled back in his head as a iron hot flash of pleasure shot through him. It had never felt this good with Rachel. Why is he thinking of her now anyways? She had been uninterested for weeks now.

"Your thinking again." Tommy muttered before sinking his teeth into the flesh between his neck and shoulder, leaving a dark imprint of his perfectly imperfect teeth. Adam's cock twitched in his palm in response and his thoughts were firmly planted back in the here and now.

Tommy's weight left him briefly as his slacks were pulled down his long legs and tossed off the edge of the bed. The smirk that spread on Tommy's face as he settled back between his legs, should be illegal.

Adam wasn't sure what to do with his hands and eventually settled for tangling them in the comforter as he thrust himself into Tommy's hand when it returned. Tommy in turn was grinding his impressive feeling erection against the crux of his thighs.

Tommy's hand slid from his erection and moved to unbutton his own fly and pushing his jeans down a bit while he supported his weight on one elbow.

"That is way hotter than it should be." Adam muttered watching as Tommy pulled his in fact impressive erection from his boxers and giving it a few strokes. Tommy shifted his weight and pulled Adam's slimmer but still impressive (at least he thinks so.) length through the front of his boxer briefs. The first skin on skin contacted made a thick bead of precum pearl up and slowly roll down his length and he couldn't stop his hips from rolling up sliding himself deeper into that grip.

Adam wrapped his legs around Tommy's hips, feeling that thick length slide in the space between his thigh and hip. Tommy's lips found his again in a heated clash as he thrust against him, Adams own length being pressed between their bellies.

Tommy's hands found both of his and their fingers tangled together before Tommy pinned both hands above his head. He set a rolling pace and Adam knew there was no way he was going to last very long. His body was burning and flushed and his limbs trembled with the need to thrust back against the solid slightly furry stomach that was a delicious pressure on his steadily leaking member.

After a few moments Adam got his timing down and was matching Tommy's thrusts, the sweat building between them making their movements slick. Adam felt his body growing taut and he threw his head back as his toes curled into the blankets. He was about to pass the point of no return and it was glorious. The low growling sounds coming from Tommy told Adam that he was close as well.

"Oh god. I'm gonna come..." Adam gasped out pulling at Tommy's grip on his hands as his hips stuttered and he spilled between their bellies, waves of intense pleasure ripping pained sounds from his throat before he fell limp back on the bed.

Tommy grunted licking into Adam's slack mouth as he released his hands and moving to grip Adam's hips, picking up his pace. Moments later Tommy thrust hard against him and he could feel his cock twitch as warm liquid splashed against his stomach and trailed down his side. Tommy sighed dropping his forehead on his shoulder as they both fought to catch their breath.

Adam stared at the ceiling in a post coital haze and barely registered Tommy moving until his weight left, pulling a disappointed sound from his chest. He didn't know how long Tommy was gone but his eyelids were feeling heavy and no matter how hard he fought it his eyes fell closed and he was asleep.

Tommy shuffled around in the bathroom for a moment, wetting some washcloths and cleaning the sticky patches from his skin. He was more relaxed than he had been in a long time. When he looked in the mirror a grin tugged at his lips: his hair was a complete mess, sticking up at odd angles, and his lips were red and swollen.

Tommy wrung out another cloth and went back into the room to bring it to Adam but found him fast asleep across the bed. With a chuckle Tommy shook his head and wiped away at the quickly drying come on his stomach and side. Adam mummered and shifted but didn't wake up as Tommy tucked him back into his underwear and righted his shirt.

"Come on man, lets get you to bed." He muttered pulling the blankets back on the bed and pulling the surprisingly light man into a more comfortable position, resting his head on the pillow. Tommy brushed his hair back from his face before he tucked the comforter around him.

With a sigh Tommy looked around the room and gathered his things. He didn't want to go back and face his father but he knew that he didn't have a choice and there was a plane ticket with his name on it that was set to leave in 4 hours. The events of the last few hours left Tommy with a strange feeling but he pushed those thoughts to the side as pulled his hoodie back over his head and smoothed his hair down.

Just when he was walking through the room towards the door he saw Adam's phone laying on the floor next to the bed. He knelt down and picked it up, turning it over in his hand. He tell himself later that he was just being curious when he swiped the screen on the phone but if he was honest with himself I wanted to know more about the man.

Tommy shuffled through Adam's contacts and he felt a knot in the pit of his stomach at the names there: "Mom, Kyle, Rachel, Work, Doctor." Only 5 names. He felt a pang of sympathy for Adam's loneliness. He had a long painful road ahead with the chemo and it made Tommy upset to know that there were so few people to help him.

After a few more moments of tapping at the phone, Tommy set an alarm for 3 hours from now and left it sitting on the bedside table. With one final look over the sleeping man Tommy stood and left the room.

Tommy stepped out onto the dark sidewalks and into the taxi the hotel had called for him as he paid for the room Adam was currently sleeping in. He gave the driver the address of the hotel that his father had booked secretly hoping the man would be passed out before he got there.

As the cab made it's way across town he thought about the events of the night. Tommy had never really been attracted to a man but there was something about Adam that pulled him in. Maybe it was just that they were both in need of human companionship. Tommy found that he wasn't really bothered by this little incident but he would defiantly be keeping it to himself if anyone happened to ask where he had been. That's a big "if".

When the cab pulled up to the curb Tommy reached in his pocket for his wallet and his fingers felt something else in there. Confused he pulled out the slightly rumpled slip of paper and knew before he turned it over what it was. He didn't remember pocketing the MRI picture but here it was.

He tossed some bills at the cab driver and stepped out, tossing his bag over his shoulder. He ran his fingers over the small picture and read the name in the bottom corner.

'Lerner, Adam' So he had a last name. Tommy carefully folded the slip of paper and tucked it in his wallet before setting his shoulders and marching into the lobby making his way to the elevator.

When he reached his father's hotel room he didn't knock and just opened the door. He found Paddy fast asleep in one of the standard issue chairs. With a sigh he removed the whiskey bottle from the table and poured the rest down the drain in the bathroom.

He returned to Paddy and gave the man a harsh shake. "Wake up old man. We have a plane to catch."

Hours later after getting his father up and dressed he was boarding the flight back to Pittsburgh and finding his seat that was thankfully not next to his father, Tommy glanced at his phone realizing Adam would now be awake. Tommy flipped it closed and looked out the window at the clouds passing by.

"Life goes on." He told himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Adam jolted awake when his brain registered the incessant buzzing of his phone. Looking around he remembered that he wasn't at home and was in fact in a hotel room, apparently alone, where the night before he had participated and possibly initiated his first gay experience.

'Oh god.. what if Rachel finds out?' his mind screamed as he grabbed at the still buzzing phone to shut off the alarm he didn't remember setting. In fact.. how did he get tucked into bed? Adam groaned and tried to sit up but the world was still spinning. He threw his arms over his face to block out the light filtering through the curtains.

After a few moments to collect himself, Adam stood and found his pants and sweater neatly folded on the bathroom counter. He did his best to tame his hair down and rise the taste of alcohol out of his mouth before getting dressed. As he moved around he'd catch a hint of Tommy's scent, deep and heavy just like this voice, on his body and it made him shiver. He'd only admit it to himself but that single act was probably the most intense experience he had ever had. And now this was the most intense hangover he'd ever had. His brain felt too big for his skull.

Adam left the hotel as quietly as possible and caught the first bus in the direction of his home. He swayed in the seat hoping that the rolling of his stomach wouldn't develop into him vomiting on public transport.

It took 45 minutes to get close enough to walk and as he got closer dread coiled in his stomach. On the ride over he had called and taken a personal day from work and dropped Kyle a text telling him that he wasn't feeling well and that he'd call later. Now he had to hope that he wouldn't walk into a house with a panicked girlfriend waiting to scream at him. This hangover was bad enough without the screaming.

He was surprised when he opened the door to find his house empty. He called out for Rachel to make sure she wasn't there but there was no reply.

'She must have slept at her place.' he thought as he dropped his bag on the couch and made his way to his room where he stripped to take a shower.

He stopped dead when he noticed the large bruise on the tender flesh between his shoulder and neck. He silently prodded the sore area and the memory of Tommy sinking his teeth into him rushed back. His blood rushed south so quickly his knees felt weak.

What's wrong with him? He likes girls. He has a fucking girlfriend! Granted they hadn't had sex in more than a month but he has a girlfriend. One that he enjoyed having sex with..when it happened. One that he would now have to hide proof of his own infidelity from for the next week at least. There was no way he was going to be able to explain that type of mark away.

He adamantly ignored his half hard penis and showered washing the night before off his body. He was a little surprised to find out that Tommy had apparently cleaned him up before putting him to bed seeing as there wasn't any dried come flaking off of him. Leave it to him to have a one night stand with a gentleman he initially thought was a thug.

'Way to set the bar.' he thought letting the heat of the shower ease the pounding in his head. After his shower and digging in the fridge for anything greasy and comforting, he pulled on his Pjs and slid into bed to sleep off the rest of his hang over, swearing that he'd never touch alcohol again.

"Oh Adam I..." The look on Rachel's face.. he would never forget that. She looked scared shitless and trapped. He tried to give her a way out. Why wouldn't she take it? Why is she staying? He's strong enough to do this on his own if he needs to.

Adam pretended he didn't wake up when Rachel got out of bed and didn't come back that night.

"I'm going to throw up." Kyle really did look green in the face. Adam had tried to calm him down and conveniently left out what had happened to him the night before. They got coffee and went on about their day. Adam pretended that he wasn't annoyed by all he condolences and special treatment he received. Most of these people had ignored him the day before. What makes him so special today? Several times that day he pulled out the card for the therapist the doctor had recommended.

"I'm moving in." Adam stared at his panicked mother and did the best he could to calm her down. He hated to see her like this. It was like she had just been caught by the tide and was being swept out to sea. He stood in the kitchen and held her while she sobbed on his shoulder.

Later that night he sat on his couch staring blankly at the TV. Rachel was at yet another gallery opening. Or so she said. Good for her not letting her boyfriends cancer get in the way of her social calendar.

'That's not nice.' he tells himself. 'She can do whatever she wants. She's not here to be your servant'

Adam fiddled with his phone and noticed something odd. He seemed to have an extra contact in his list. When he scrolled to see what it was he froze his brows curling in confusion.

It was Tommy's number. Tommy must have put his number in his phone while he was asleep. His finger hovered over the number. He wasn't sure if he meant to delete it or call it. He sat there for a lone time before he moved again. He stared at the number until it was burned into his mind.

Tommy had left his number. What was he supposed to do with that? Call him and tell him he was a great fuck? Tell him that he has made him question his sexuality? Adam shifted on the couch trying to ease the stitch in his lower back that seemed to never stop these days. It was a constant reminder that his body was eating itself. Adam tossed the phone to the other end of the couch and turned his mind off, letting himself get sucked into some mindless TV show. Adam would forget him soon enough. He knew Tommy has probably already forgotten him. Adam pretended that that thought didn't bother him.

Adam found himself typing out texts to Tommy but before he could hit send he'd delete the messages and slap himself for his stupidity. He shut off the TV and went to bed. Later when Rachel crept in and whispered his name, he pretended to be asleep.

Tommy pounded the bag again, his muscles were burning and his t-shirt was clinging to his chest, as he finished the 8 count set. With a frustrated huff he pulled off his gloves and tossed them on the bag. Paddy Conlon was busy packing away his things when Tommy approached.

"You go ahead. I'm going to get a shower and take a run. I'll call you later." Tommy said simply waiting for the older man to nod before turning away, grabbing his bag and heading for the showers.

Tommy was thankfully alone in the showers as he let the surprisingly hot water wash some of the tension from his shoulders. Things had been tense for the last few days after Paddy's relapse in Seattle. They hadn't even spoken for two days afterward. Today Tommy had told him that he was going to work with another trainer.

He felt bad, but knew it was what had to be done. He couldn't continue to go into matches and find that his trainer/manager was no where to be found and when he did find him, he was in the bottom of a bottle. He wanted a relationship with his father but a working relationship was not good for either of them and he thought Paddy would understand, but judging by the look on his face he didn't. At least not yet.

When Tommy got dressed he pulled out his phone, a basic utilitarian flip phone, and checked his messages. He didn't know why he bothered, but that there was a chance that Adam had found his number. His in-box was still empty.

He sat on the locker room bench and ran his fingers through his hair. His first experience with a girl hadn't made him like this so why was this guy different? Sure he'd never been with a guy before but was it really all that different? He hadn't even looked at a guy before. Not really.

Back in Iraq there had been that Private, Joe was his name. He has enjoyed his company and had admitted to himself that the young man wasn't hard on the eyes, with his tall lean body and dark eyes. Eyes that were so much like Adam's. Eyes that he had later seen glassy and dead. Tommy shook the image out of his head and lifted his bag to his shoulder. He left the gym and decided to walk rather than jog back to his apartment.

He had just recently moved into his own place, finally earning enough to put the deposits down, after he had paid off his fines from the court marshal. He had spent 30 days in the brig after the trial. 'A slap on the wrist' they had told him. Now he was free from the military, free from his fathers house, but not free of the memories of the desert. He still saw his fallen brothers in his sleep. He saw the therapist the courts had ordered him to, but he never opened up enough for it to do any good. He hated the way the medicine they gave him made him feel so he poured it down the sink. The only thing that seemed to keep his demons at bay was the clash of bodies. And the only safe outlet he had was in the ring.

So he kept fighting. And he kept winning. Soon enough he was signed to a decent agent and he took on Colt from the gym as a manager. They kept him busy, kept him fighting, kept his mind quite.

When Tommy climbed the stairs to his third floor apartment, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Tommy would never admit to the clench of excitement in his chest as he pulled it out. It was his brother. His father had probably already called him and ranted about how his own son could fire him. Tommy chuckled at his on stupidity and flipped open his phone and greeting his brother.

With the phone pinned between his shoulder and ear, he unlocked the door to his sparsely furnished apartment. Brendan was being the supportive brother he had always needed, even though he knew he could and probably should open up to him he still felt hesitant in telling his brother anything of any importance.

"So who's going to be training you now? Not that I don't understand why you got rid of dad, but we both know your not the easiest person to work with." Brendan's voice was tinny over the small speaker.

"I talked with Colt. He's willing to stick to my training schedule and techniques. He says he can handle managing me and training. We'll see." Tommy muttered as he pulled off his trainers and sat down on the well loved couch.

"Colt's a good guy. You know Em and Rosie are asking when their uncle Tommy is going to come see them again. I'm starting to think they like you better than me." Brendan teased.

Tommy couldn't stop the grin that pulled at his lips. "Tell them I'll see them soon and that next time they build a pillow fort they have to allow boys in. It's hard to have a tea party while sitting outside." They both chuckled. Neither of them understood why Tommy was so good with children but they seemed to flock to him. And he didn't mind their attention too much.

They talked for a few more minutes and Brendan made Tommy promise to come the next week to visit. He flipped the phone shut and tossed it on the table. After a moment he reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

He still had Adam's MRI scan hidden there. He pulled it out and ran his thumb over the name and birth date. He wasn't sure why he felt so close to a near perfect stranger and he really didn't care. Even if he never heard from Adam again he'd still be one of the special people in Tommy's life. They were two broken people who met, and for Tommy at least, felt a little less hollow for a few hours.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

'My mother thinks I should talk to this therapist from the hospital. I'm not so sure.'

'I start chemo next week.'

'I'm afraid and I can't tell anyone because they'd all coddle me and that's not what I want.'

Adam stared at the texts in his drafts box. He just couldn't send them. What if he did send them and Tommy had already forgotten him? He couldn't handle that embarrassment. It's only been two weeks but he still hadn't worked out exactly why he felt so compelled to reach out to a man that on any other day he would have crossed the road to avoid. He knew that they seemed to hit it off and connect on a level that usually only happened when you knew someone for ages. It made him feel less...hollow.

Adam pocketed his phone and stood when his name was called. He didn't know why he agreed to talk to a therapist but everyone is telling him it will help. When he walked in the door he was expecting and old man in a sweater vest, not a small woman that couldn't be any older than he was.

When he came out of Dr. McKay's office he didn't know what to think. She seemed intelligent and well meaning, if not scatter brained. But how was she supposed to help him? He was her third patient ever. What does she know about counseling someone who was dying. Or at least had a good chance of dying.

Death. Dying. Those words danced around in Adam's head for so long they lost their meaning. He didn't feel like he was dying. Sure his back hurt him constantly and sometimes even with his pain meds he'd be up at night tossing and turning trying to ease the ache. But dying? Him? Surely not. He was a reasonably healthy 27 year old. Kyle was right. He will beat this. Right?

Adam stared out the window as he rode the bus back towards his house. Tomorrow he had his first round of chemo. He had read up about the side effects and it was easy to say he wasn't looking forward purposely poisoning his body.

Thoughts of the vomiting, a suppressed immune system, and hair loss floated in Adam's brain as he stepped off the bus and walked the few block back to his house. The last thing he expected when he got home was to find Rachel there... with a dog. A greyhound at that. One of the highest maintenance dogs you can find. He looked at the goofy looking little guy and couldn't bear to make Rachel take him back.

'Rachel got me a dog. His name is Skeletor. He's a Greyhound. What was she thinking?' Adam saved the message in his drafts and pocketed his phone. He ended up going with Rachel to buy things for the dog. It was nice. Rachel was lovely and she seemed genuinely excited about the dog.

He held Skeletor's leash as they walked through the pet store picking out this and that. He smiled as Rachel bent down and fed the dog a treat and kissed him on the head. She turned and smiled up at him and he remembered what he liked so much about her.

He slept with his arms around her that night, Skeletor laying across the end of the bed, and it felt nice. He slept better than he had in weeks.

"You made me breakfast?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah, it's a new recipe. Lentil loaf."

He had to have miss heard her. But sure enough a bean filled vegan abomination was placed on his plate. He didn't have the heart to turn it down so he ate two slices.

They made small talk on the way to the hospital, but Rachel seemed nervous. Hell he was nervous. But she was going to be there right?

Apparently not. He let her weasel out of sitting with him through the 4 hour procedure. 'Not wanting to mix energies my ass.' He thought. At least the guys he was sitting with were cool. And those pot macaroons were awesome.

His world was cloudy as he floated out to Rachel's waiting car.

"Are you high?" She asked when he got in.

"Yeah. The guys getting chemo with me said it'd help with the nausea." He smiled looking out at the sky. Had it been that blue when he went in? "Mitch and Alan are awesome."

"I can't believe you! How could you do drugs in a hospital of all places?!" Rachel was angry but he really couldn't care less. He was riding the waves, rocking back and forth, or maybe that was the car. Who really cares? Adam sure as hell didn't.

"This stuff is awesome. We need to buy some."

Rachel stopped mid tirade and turned to look at him. Her eyes flashing angrily. "You are unbelievable." She didn't talk to him the rest of the evening and that night she shifted herself as far to her side of the bed as she could.

Hours later he woke in a fevered sweat. His stomach rolled and he rushed from the bed barely making it to the toilet before his stomach emptied itself. He thought he heard Rachel ask if he was alright but the heaving in his body wouldn't stop long enough for him to speak. Before long his chest was burning and the pain in his spine was like a burning knife.

When his body finally stopped rebelling he pulled himself up off the floor and rinsed his mouth before taking some of the meds they have given him for the nausea. He found Rachel asleep in bed. He grabbed his phone off the charger and laid down on the couch. His whole body hurt and there was no way he was getting back to sleep now, so he staid up watching late night infomercials.

'Had my first chemo today. It's horrible. How am I supposed to do this once a week for 4 months? I feel worse than I did before.' His finger hovered over the send button before he sent it to his drafts.

Tommy turned the keys over in his hand. He had borrowed Colt's truck. He was supposed to go visit his brother and his family today. The early morning light was shining through the windows of his apartment. He hadn't slept well the night before. His dreams were filled with the battle field, he had woke almost every hour and checked his phone. He just knew something was wrong. It was probably his anxiety like the therapist had said. He shrugged his bag over his shoulder and headed out the door. He had a four hour drive ahead of him and he'd better get started as soon as possible.

As soon as he was on the freeway he set the cruise control and settled in. He didn't mean to let his thoughts drift the Adam but they did.

"Yeah, I've been seeing this girl, Rachel, for like 7 months. She's so hot but she's vegan. I mean I am getting so sick and tired of brownies with apple sauce instead of eggs. Sometimes I just want some crispy fucking bacon. Is that too much to ask?" Adam was slurring a bit as he sipped at the ungodly concoction they had made out of the tiny bottle in the mini bar.

"Well I have to stick to a high protein diet. Lots of chicken and broccoli." Tommy said with a grimace.

"Bet your gassy as hell man!" Adam damn near cackled as he fell to his side across the cheap hotel room bed.

"You've got no idea. Sometimes I'd nearly kill for a hamburger. The biggest juiciest hamburger. I mean food in the military was better than what I eat during training season." Tommy took another pull from his drink, feeling pleasantly buzzed.

"Wait wait wait. First; you were in the military? OK so I can't say I'm surprised.. look at you. But secondly you have a training season?"

"Well I train all year. But when it gets close to a fight I really have to get strict. And most of my fights are usually in the fall. I like it that way. I could have more through the year but it's my choice."

"Ah." Adams looked suddenly seemed sullen. "I don't love her." He whispered. "And now.. she's going to stay with me because I have cancer and eventually leave because she can't handle it."

"If you don't love her why are you with her?"

Adam looked thoughtful for a while before he answered "I don't know. I'm scared of being alone? I mean I have my best friend Kyle. Oh and he hates Rachel. Absolutely hates her. But I just.. can't let her go."

"I get it. My old man. He's an alcoholic. He tries to be sober. He'll make it for a few months. And one time he was sober for almost 3 years. I don't want to push him out of my life because I want him there, but I need him to either be sober or gone." Tommy glared down at the drink in his hand.

"Well at least your dad will remember who you are in 5 years. Mine has Alzheimer. I doubt he'll know his own family before too long." Adam sat up on the bed and handed Tommy his glass. "Another please?"

Tommy only nodded and did what was asked.

Tommy stopped at a gas station a few miles outside of Philly and got himself a water. As he filled up his tank he checked his phone again. Still nothing. He found himself wishing he had taken down Adam's number. But what good would that have done him if Adam didn't want to talk to him?

Tommy climbed back in the truck and pulled back on the road. About half an hour later he was pulling up outside Brendan's ranch style house. Just as he turned off the ignition and opened the door, two little girls came running out the front door calling his name.

Tommy couldn't stop the smile that spread on his face when he got down on one knee to only be tackled to the ground while being hugged violently by two toe headed girls.

"Uncle Tommy! Your going to play with us right?" Emily cried.

"Yes! Play with us! We can be princesses!" Rosie was pulling his arm as he tried to get up.

"OK girls give me a minute alright? Now who's going to go get your dad for me?" Tommy asked and both girls took off running back to the house. He had a feeling he was going to enjoy these two days. Who could be upset with those two running around? He grabbed his bag and walked across the lawn.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

'When I was in the shower this morning some of my hair fell out. I thought it'd take longer than a few weeks of this crap for this to start.'

'More hair came out this morning. And not just a little.. it's like hand fulls'

'Kyle and I are going to shave my head tonight.'

'Rachel 'forgot' to pick me up after chemo today. How do you do that? Just forget a person..'

Rachel was not pleased with his shaved head to say the least.

"Adam.. your hair." She had said sounding like Adam had kicked her puppy.

"It was falling out so I figured I should go ahead and shave it before I got bald spots." Adam explained rubbing a hand over his smooth scale. It still felt strange.

"Didn't you wrap a cool towel around your head? That's supposed to help."

"How would you know what I do during treatment? You're never there." Adam knew it was a low blow but it was his fucking hair. Rachel grabbed her bag and angrily stomped out the door, slamming it behind her. She didn't come back for two days.

Being off of work was horribly boring. Adam was home all day, usually by himself. Kyle stopped by almost every day and dragged him around with him to do this and that. Today they were going to buy the books Kathrine, the worst therapist in the world, had recommended he read. Of course Kyle get's himself a date out of the deal.

"How does he do that?!" Adam wondered as they paid for their books. "He's full of shit. That's how." He thought with a chuckle.

After Kyle dropped him off so he could get ready for his last minute date, Adam laid on the couch and watched a movie. Rachel was supposed to be coming over after she attended yet another gallery opening. He pulled out his phone and glanced through all the drafts of text to Tommy and thought that he really should delete them all. What if someone found them? But he just couldn't. Every time his finger hovered over the delete button it just didn't feel right. Even though he hadn't actually sent them, just typing them out was becoming a stress reliever of sorts letting him vent his feelings where no one had to know.

He must have fallen asleep on the couch, because when Rachel opened the door and crept in, it startled him awake.

"Hey." he said holding his arms up for a hug.

Rachel faked and yawn and avoided his questioning arms. She said something about being tired and Adam dropped his arms, disappointed. She had become extremely distant in the last month and Adam didn't know what to do. Moments later Kyle burst through the door and everything crashed.

Kyle had caught Rachel kissing some guy in public. Here was the proof to what Adam had had a sinking suspicion of for a long time now.

Rachel had been cheating on him. He had the picture on Kyle's phone to prove it. He was dumb struck but he wasn't shocked. He had given her a guilt free way out and yet she had still gone and cheated. He had guessed that something wasn't right for a long time, the late nights and no calls were a big hint. After Kyle ran Rachel out of the house he tried to stick around to make sure that Adam was alright. He had to all but throw him out, promising to call him first thing in the morning and swearing that Kyle didn't need to take the sharp objects with him.

He was fine. Really. He was. Wasn't he? He didn't know anymore. Pain was just a constant blurry feeling these days. He couldn't tell where it was coming from anymore. It wasn't like he didn't cheat on her first. Even if it was a one night stand. He did it first. His hands weren't clean. At least he kind of hoped he did it first. The thought of her cheating for that long really didn't sit well with him but as he started thinking about it the more sense the thought made. Still Adam found himself laying on her side of the bed later, breathing in her sent that had become so familiar over the last few months.

He picked his phone up off the night stand and start to type out a message.

'So I was right. Rachel cheated on me. Now she's gone. I should feel worse than I do. But all I feel right now is how much I hate that unholy bitch. How dumb could I really be not to notice this by now?' Before he could stop his finger it hit the send button and Adam's heart dropped to the floor. Oh shit! He hadn't meant to send that!

Adam panicked and started hitting buttons thinking some how he'd stop the text mid transit. All he did was successfully send all of his texts from his draft folder.

'That's it. My life is over.' Adam thought tossing his phone violently against the bed. With a curse he picked it back up to make sure it wasn't damaged. He was so screwed. Tommy was going to think he was insane. Should he send a text trying to mitigate the damage? He didn't know what to do. God it had to be 20 messages he just sent.

Adam's face burned with humiliation. He was so stupid! He stared at his phone like it would jump up and bite him for a long time. He tried to rationalize that it'd be almost 4am in Pittsburgh and that Tommy was most likely asleep so that he won't see those text until the morning. But it was a cold comfort really. He could either have his full humiliation now or later.

After what felt like hours but was more likely minutes his phone pinged that he had a new text. He was almost to scared to check it. He picked up his phone and turned it over. His fingers were clammy and shaky as he swiped the screen to pull up the message.

'**When you're ready to talk I'm here.**'

Adam felt tears start to stream down his face. Before he knew it he was full on sobbing, clutching his phone in his hand. Skeletor peered at him over the edge of the bed before jumping up to lay next to him. Adam laid down and snuggled his face against the dogs soft fur. Breathing in the familiar smell. He cried for a long time, eventually having to stretch out to relieve some of the pain in his back. When he felt calm enough he grabbed his phone and started typing.

Tommy laid awake in his borrowed bed staring at the ceiling, It had to be around 4 am and he knew he should go back to sleep but his body must have decided 5 hours was enough sleep for the night. He had spent most of the day keeping his nieces entertained which had involved no less than 5 rounds of swinging, 2 tea parties, and one memorable hour where he tried to avoid them making him into a princess.

Tommy had been pushing the girls on the swings with the dreaded words were spoken by Rosie. "Uncle Tommy would be a pretty princess!"

Emily squealed with delight and soon both girls jumped off the swings and set off running for their rooms, leaving a slightly baffled and more than a little frightened Tommy behind. Moments later the girls came running back with feather boas, tiaras, and a makeup box in hand.

"Oh hell no." Tommy muttered and quickly made his way back to the house quicker than he'd admit later. The girls behind him giggled and gave chase after him. He'd never admit it but he quickly started running towards the house and up the back stairs. Soon he was cornered in the girls room and there was no escape.

The girls came barreling in cheering and laughing and Tommy accepted his fate. He thanked everything he could that Tess and Brendan had stepped out to go to the store. He can handle the girls doing this because it made them happy, but he'd damned if he let his brother see this.

"Alright alright. I'll be a princess. But no make up. That's where I draw the line." He said shaking his finger at the girls who clapped and cheered again.

"Princess uncle Tommy! Now we can have a princess only tea party!" Rosie cheered pulling him down into a chair that was far to small for him and a pink boa was draped over his shoulders. Emily pranced over to her toy box and started digging for something.

Moments later he felt plastic combs of the pink Disney princess tiara dig into the sides of his head and Emily returned with a plastic string of pearls that were then placed gently around his neck.

"There! Now lets have tea!" Emily gushed as she set her little tea set on the far to short table.

A grin spread on Tommy's face, he never really expected to be so accepted by his brother's family and if he was honest with himself he had to admit he kind of like it. He couldn't do it all day everyday but every now and then this was OK...as long as not to many people know about it.

He must of lost track of time talking and sipping 'tea' with the girls because he didn't realize he was being watched until he heard the click of a camera. He turned to see Tess smiling brightly and holding a small point and shoot camera, Brendan by her side grinning like an asshole.

"I think we have this years Christmas card." Tess teased.

Tommy threatened to smash the camera but Tess only laughed. When had she stopped seeing him as a threat?

He let his eyes drift shut and for a moment he thought he might just fall back asleep. Then his phone buzzed. Tommy cracked one eye open and looked at the plain black phone on the night stand. And sure enough, the face was lit up. He furrowed his brow, more than a little curious who'd be sending him a message at four in the morning. Just as he sat up it buzzed again and didn't stop for what felt like forever.

Someone just sent him a ton of texts. Now he was really confused. He grabbed his phone and flipped it open to find 23 new texts from a number not in his contacts. He flipped through his phone and started reading the messages. He quickly realized they were all from Adam. The texts seemed to be from different times, which confused him but it didn't really matter. Some were angry, others he seemed scared. When he reached the newest text he felt a clench in his chest and did the only thing he could. He text him back.

It was a good twenty minutes before Adam text him again.

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you.'

**'Adam. Don't be dense. I wouldn't have given you my number if I didn't intend for you to use it.'**

** 'How are you?'**

There was a long silence then his phone started buzzing with a incoming call.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Adam's face still burned bright red when he dialed Tommy's number, but there was so much to be said that he couldn't send in text, so he had to do it. He held his breath when the line clicked. The line was silent as they both felt a little awkward.

"Hey." Adam whispered. He heard a sigh of what he hoped was relief from the other in.

"So is this where I ask you what your wearing?" Tommy asked with obvious fake confusion.

Adam bust out laughing giving the other man a few choice curses.

"Adam, with all seriousness: fuck your girlfriend." Tommy's deep voice filtered through the phone and Adam couldn't stop the chuckle that kept rumbling from his chest.

"Yeah she was a bitch after all apparently." Adam muttered as he pet Skeletor on the head. "The best thing to come out of this relationship was the dog. He's awesome." Adam paused, knowing what he wanted to say but not sure how to say it. "I'm not sure how long she's been cheating." Adam blurted out before he could feel embarrassed.

"How long do you think it's been going on?" Tommy asked his voice low and serious.

"She's been.. distant for months. Even before the cancer.. When I met you she had been sleeping in my bed for weeks but we hadn't had sex in a month. After I told her I had cancer it all got worse. She was going out and staying out all night and trying to sneak back in when she thought I was asleep. She hasn't even been going to my chemo with me. I have to sit there with a needle in my arm pumping poison into my vein and when I leave she fucking forgets to pick me up. I sat out side the hospital for 2 hours waiting on her and trying to call her. She FORGOT me.. I tried to tell her she could leave right when I found out. That I'd be fine. But she didn't leave. I asked her why and she said she stayed because I was so sick and it didn't feel right to leave." Adam took a deep breath, feeling suddenly out of breath after his rant.

"Adam, a piece of advice: Do not let her come back. She's going to try. She's never going to be a decent human if she'll sleep with another man while her supposed boyfriend is sick from chemo therapy."

Adam sighed and for lack of something to say he stated the obvious. "The chemo is the worst thing I've ever been through. I look like death, my hair was falling out, I bumped into the counter the other day and I have a bruise the size of a baseball. I feel tired all the time, but when I sleep I never feel rested. I've been seeing this therapist.. she's a horrible shrink but she's a nice person.. but I don't feel better about this. I...i feel like I'm dying, I know that's the chemo and all that shit, but it's starting to.. become real."

Adam started to get concerned when Tommy was silent for a while. "When my mother got sick, it started with a cough that wouldn't go away. She thought it was the weather.. her not being used to Tacoma after being in Pittsburgh for so long. She didn't have insurance so she just bought over the counter stuff hoping it'd get better. Months later she started having spells where she couldn't breath. It was like pneumonia but not. Finally one night, I drove her to the ER. They found a tumor in her right lung the size of my fist. She couldn't breath because of the fluid filling them. With her not having insurance they wouldn't let her stay in the hospital while they sent the biopsy out to confirm that it was cancer. We never went back to the hospital. My mom died slowly at home, drowning in her own fluids. Towards the end she looked awful but she never once lost her smile. She must have known what would happen.. I was 16 but she still put on a strong face for me. I nursed her to the end trying to make her as comfortable as possible. The moral is: This is real. You may die. You may not. I can't tell you it's going to be OK because I don't know that. But you can't sit around and wallow in it. Get off your ass and let your friend take you out. Do something. Because if these are your last days; you don't want to waste them feeling sorry for yourself."

Adam felt a tear roll down his cheek and his quickly wiped it away. "I'm sorry Tommy."

"Did you give her cancer?" He asked sharply.

"No." Adam whispered, another tear escaping down his cheek.

"Then you have nothing to be sorry for. Now do me a favor?" It wasn't really a question.

"Yeah sure."

" When's your next chemo?"

"Monday."

"OK then. Go to bed. Take your meds, gets some sleep, call me later when it's not the ass crack of dawn. When you go in for chemo Monday text me while you do it. I'll be training most of the day but I'll do my best to keep you company." Tommy yawned, and Adam could swear he heard him stretching.

"OK." Adam said quietly. He didn't know how he was supposed to fall asleep after the day he's had but he'd at least try.

"Good night Adam. It's good to hear from you."

"Goodnight. I'm sorry I was stupid and didn't call you when I found your number."

"It's OK now. Go to sleep."

Adam made a vague noise of confirmation and tapped the screen on his phone. He snuggled down into the sheets and Skeletor laid against his side. Before he knew it he was asleep.

Tommy flipped his phone shut and stared at it for a moment. He knew Adam didn't realize it but he had just opened up to the man more than he had to his own brother. He wasn't sure why but he was OK with that. Maybe because Adam was an outsider it made it easier for him.

He let out a long sigh, feeling suddenly like he might go back to sleep. He curled on his side and laid his phone beside his pillow before closing his eyes and finally falling into a blissfully dream free sleep.

Tommy roused slightly to the sound of someone moving around outside his room, his military training kicking in and his mind popped on line. The sounds move into the room and he feels the bed dip as a weight settled next to him on the mattress. The presence in the room didn't cause Tommy any alarm so he continued to lay with his eyes shut.

Hands, warm, heavy, and familiar come to rest on his shoulders and guide him to lay flat on his back. He could feel the warmth of another body as whoever it was leaned over and brushed their lips against his. He let out a pleased sound and let himself relax into the kiss. He could open his eyes but right now he didn't want to.

Pinpoints of pressure and warmth trailed down his chest before settling on the waistband of his shorts. Long fingers slipped inside and wrapped around his rapidly hardening length. Tommy groaned lifting his hips to thrust into the welcoming tightness.

The warm moist lips left his to trail down his throat, sucking lightly over his racing pulse. Moments later weight settled over his thighs and another hand was pushing his shirt up over his chest and soon lips where traveling down the dip of his breast bone and down his belly, tickling the hair there. Tommy let out a soft moan as his shorts and underwear were pulled down and his erection was freed. It smeared precum on his stomach where it twitch in excitement.

Soft warm wetness wrapped around the head of his cock and he finally forced his eyes open. He groaned as he saw Adam straddling his legs, his mouth stretched prettily around him. He knew now that he was dreaming but he didn't care. He let his hands find their way into Adam's hair, giving it an encouraging tug. The other man's lips curled into a grin as he took more of Tommy's length in his mouth.

Tommy's body shuddered as Adam hollowed his cheeks, dragging his lips up Tommy's length , letting the head almost slip out before sliding back down. When Adam started to rhythmically bobbing his head Tommy couldn't help his hips tensing and making small thrusts into Adam's welcoming mouth.

Adam moaned softly tilting his head to get a better angle and take more in and Tommy's thighs began to tremble, heat and tension coiling low in his belly. Tommy's breath was catching in his chest as pleasure trailed over his entire body. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he felt himself getting closer and closer, Adam's mouth and tongue finding all the right spots. The hands splayed across his stomach slowly curled and scratched their way down his thighs.

Tommy gasped as Adam's tongue swirled around his sensitive glands. He was teetering on the so close to the edge and all he need was just a second more...

"Tommy? You OK?" Brendan's voice snapped him violently from the dream and he found himself with his face in the pillow and his hips frozen mid grind against the mattress. He's painfully hard erection complained at the sudden cessation. "Tommy?"

"Yeah?" Tommy managed to croak out, turning his face into the breath damp pillow.

"It's lunch time. Food will be ready soon so I thought I'd wake you up.. but you sound busy. I'll just leave you to it. Just don't mess up the sheets. If I can make a suggestion.. do it in the shower." Brendan's voice filtered through the door and Tommy groaned hitting his head repeatedly into the pillow.

He heard his brothers foot steps as he retreated down the hall and Tommy cursed sitting up, his erection still straining against his shorts. With an irritated huff, Tommy stomped to the in suite bathroom and stripped his cloths off quickly and jumped into the shower.

He soaped up his hand and wrapped it around his aching cock and nearly sighed with relief. He braced his arm against the shower wall as he started working his hand over his length. He let his mind fill itself with images of Adam. Adam with his lips stretched obscenely around him, Adam spread out in bed stroking himself and begging Tommy to fuck him.

Tommy felt the threads of tension in his body finally break as sparks exploded behind his eyes. He grunted as he spilled over his hand and against the tile wall, his whole body shaking in the wake of pleasure.

Tommy stood there for a moment, braced against the wall, waiting for his breathing to return to normal before he quickly scrubbed the evidence of his activities away and washed himself a little slower than necessary.

When he finally was dressed and came down for breakfast his brother gave him a knowing smirk. Tommy cleared his throat and sat down at the table in his assigned spot between his two beaming nieces.

"Not a word." Tommy muttered in Brendan's direction.

Tess looked between the two men and took in Brendan's smirk and Tommy's still slightly flushed face and bust out laughing. "Oh lord I'm not changing those sheets.." She exclaimed then deflected Emily's questions about what she meant.

Tommy couldn't hide the grin that crossed his face as he tucked into his lunch, his mind wondering how Adam was feeling this morning. Without a thought he reached into his pocket and sent Adam a quick text to check on him. He was half way though the message before he realized that he felt lighter than he had in years.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Adam sighed as he drifted back up from a wonderfully deep sleep. It took a few moments for him to feel in insentient throb between his legs. 'Well that hasn't happened in a while' he thought looking down at the rock hard erection straining against his pajama. Adam sighed slipping his hand under the band of his pants giving himself a gentle squeeze.

Adam froze and for a moment forgetting that he was, in fact, alone in bed. He cracked his eye open and looked around before stretching out and yanking his pajama pants down enough to free himself. He reached over into the night stand and pulled out a bottle of lube and warmed some in his hand before wrapping his slick hand around his cock. He moaned as he started to stroke himself slowly. Images from his dream flickered through his mind and he hand started working quicker, his hips flexing as he fucked his fist.

It wasn't long before Adam felt his whole body tightening as his release got closer. Adam was gasping and a film of sweat broke out on his body. With his last coherent thought he pulled his t-shirt up his chest and out of the way just before he felt his cock jump. He cried out, hips nearly lifting off the bed, as the waves of his orgasm crashed over him. He spilled over his hand and stomach before collapsing back to the bed, gulping down huge breaths as he tried to get his heart rate back to normal.

He chuckled as he remember more of his dream from the night before. "Like I know how to give a blow job anyways.." he muttered as he eased himself out of bed and made his way to the shower.

As he was toweling off he heard the chirp of his phone in the other room. He sighed wrapping the towel around his waist and he made his way back to the bed, shifting the blankets around until his phone fell out. He reached for it and swiped the screen.

'**How are you feeling this morning?**' Adam smiled and sat on the bed to text Tommy back.

'I'm OK. Feeling a little drained. Kyle demanded that I text him today to make sure my head isn't in the oven.'

'**As if you couldn't send a text with your head in the oven**.'

Adam chuckled and went to grab some cloths and shot a quick text to Kyle telling him that he's not in fact suicidal. Kyle quickly shot back that he was coming over. Adam smiled and made his way to the kitchen where he took his pile of pills and sat down to eat some toast.

It wasn't 20 minutes later when Kyle was banging on his door. Adam looked in the mirror in the living room and ran a hand over his now prickly head before opening the door.

"Hey man. You OK?" Kyle asked pushing his way into tho house like he was making sure Adam wasn't hiding Rachel behind the curtains.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just went to bed and got some sleep. Things are clearer today." Adam muttered slowly lowering himself on the couch. The pain meds he just taken not quite taking the edge off yet.

"Well I got something for you." Kyle said holding up his satchel bag.

"It's not porn is it?" Adam asked reaching for his beanie hat on the back of the couch and slipping it on his head.

"Better." Kyle sat down next to him and started pulling glass contraptions out of his bag and sitting them on the table.

"Are those... bongs?" Adam asked a little shocked.

Kyle nodded and pulled out several small bags of what was obviously weed. "I got my medicinal marijuana card last week and I got you some medical strength shit to help with the nausea. I knew you'd be too chicken shit to do it yourself."

Adam thought about protesting for a few moments, but the doctor had told him to look into it when he asked what he could do about the near constant vomiting for two days after chemo. "I'm not nauseated right now." Adam finally muttered.

"Chill out, shut up, and get high with me." Kyle demanded grabbing Adam's arm and pulling him closer on to the couch. "I'll help with other things too."

Adam knew what 'other things' he was talking about and he didn't really want to think about it so he settled in, pulling a blanket over his lap. "Other things are fine."

"Whatever you say man." Kyle busied himself breaking up a bud and packing it into the bowl on the larger bong. He dug in his pocket for a lighter and shot Adam a shit eating grin.

"I'll do the honors." Kyle proclaimed proudly holding the bong to his lips and lighting the bowl. He took a hit and held it while he passed it to Adam who fumbled with the glass object, not really knowing what to do with it.

"Here." Kyle muttered, blowing out the strong smelling smoke while helping Adam place his hands properly. "Now seal this around your mouth." Adam did what he was told and Kyle held the lit lighter to the bowl. "Now breath in. Slowly, because your going to choke like a bitch." Adam glared at Kyle but complied, breathing in a much smaller amount of smoke.

Adam tried to hold back the cough he felt rising in his chest but only survived a few seconds before he hacked out the smoke, his chest burning. He felt light headed but he took another hit when Kyle insisted. Almost instantly his head started to feel fuzzy and his body started to melt into the couch.

"Ah.. feeling it are we?" Kyle teased as he took another hit. "I brought a bag of Cheetos and I know there is ice cream in you freezer. We're going to sit here and watch Planet Earth." Kyle reached into his bag and pulled out a bright orange bag and then found the remote in it's hiding place between the cushions.

"This works much faster than the macaroons.." Adam mummered. Kyle laughed and stretched his legs to prop them on the table.

"Oh man.. it's the one with the beaches.. this shit is gonna be awesome. You ever thought about getting a bigger TV?"

Tommy was on Brendan's couch watching the Sunday football game when his phone pinged in his pocket. Brendan gave him a questioning look but didn't say anything as Tommy pulled out his phone to find a new message from Adam.

'So I'm SO high. This is way better than macaroons.'

Tommy's face scrunched with amusement. He had no idea what Adam was talking about. Before Tommy could even think of a reply another message came in.

'I've never smoked this stuff before. This is awesome. I feel like I could eat a horse.'

Tommy started to clue into what was going on and he couldn't stop the chuckle that rumbled out of him.

"Wow. Someone must be special to make you smile like that." Brendan said interrupting Tommy's thoughts.

"It's just a friend of mine." Tommy said simply.

"A friend? Right." Brendan raised and eyebrow as yet another text pinged. "Well if they are going to text you like that.. you might as well get a better phone. Something with a keyboard. That relic will take you forever to respond."

Tommy thought about it for a moment and then a fourth text came in. "Where's the closest phone store?" He asked his far too amused brother.

Brendan laughed and clapped his brother on his back. "I want to meet this one. Come on.. I'll take you to get you a phone that's at least from the 90s."

Two hours later and 15 missed text, Tommy sat at Brendan's kitchen table trying not to get angry as he tried to activate his new smart phone. Tommy glared at the glossy surface that kept telling him to do what he had just done.

"Brendan if I just let you spend $300 on a phone I can't use I'm going to kill you and hide the body where no one will ever find you. I don't even know why you insisted on buying this thing." Tommy once again followed the instructions on the screen and huffed out a relieved breath when it seemed to have worked.

"Hey it's the least I can do to keep you in contact with whoever is making you that happy. Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone? Is she from the Burg?" Brendan asked sitting down next to his brother and opening the instruction book.

"I'm not seeing anyone. And It's a 'he' not a 'she'. It's a friend I met when I was out of town for a fight." Tommy spat defensively.

" Not judging!" Brendan exclaimed, holding up his hands. "Who am I to judge who your flirting with.."

"Who says I'm flirting? What do you know anyways?" Tommy sent a searing glare in his direction.

"OK OK. Chill out. No murdering family members in the kitchen. Just know that it's all cool." Brendan smiled softly and gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze.

Tommy's glare softened and he was momentarily distracted by the two little girls tearing through the kitchen on their way up stairs in a fit of giggles. "Thanks." Tommy muttered, turning back to the phone in his hands, trying to add numbers into in contact list.

Brendan cleared his throat and started flipping aimlessly through the instruction manual. "This is turning into an awkward brother chat isn't it?"

"Yeah. A bit."

Brendan nodded and straightened in his chair. "So this phone will have your old number so you won't have to go through telling everyone your new number."

Tommy was glad for the change of subject and he relaxed a bit. Brendan went over all the basics on how to use a touch screen phone and after what felt like an hour, Tommy finally felt like he might be able to work the thing without breaking it. He was secretly glad that Brendan had made him pick out a thick rubber case because he knew the phone would go through hell in his possession.

After a few test calls and taking pictures of the nieces that insisted that they be his background, Tommy stood and made to go back to his room to reply to Adam's texts.

"When your ready.. you can tell me about him." Brendan threw over his shoulder. Tommy paused for a moment and gave his brother a short nod before trudging up the stairs.

Once he was in the relative privacy of his borrowed room, he read through the texts on his old phone and chuckled. Adam was apparently just sending him random thoughts as he and his friend smoked weed and ate junk food. Tommy awkwardly typed out the first text on his new phone with a smile tugging on his lips.

'**When you go buy a TV get a big one. I have a fight that will be on TV in 3 weeks.**'

'What?! Really?! Well.. I guess I'm for sure buying 1080p then.'

Tommy shook his head and glanced at his bag. He had to go back tomorrow. There had been no word from his father all weekend and Tommy wasn't sure he was even upset about it. Tommy stretched out on the bed and laid his phone on his chest determined to take a nap.

The nap never happened because apparently a high Adam is a very chatty Adam, but Tommy couldn't be bothered. Before he knew it the sun had set and Brendan was asking him down for dinner. Tommy found himself smiling all through the meal.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Two day's later Adam stood in front of a display of huge, glossy TVs, and he couldn't stop himself from grinning like a 5 year old. The high definition displays flickered with images of flowers and landscapes.

Kyle rushed up and clasped Adam on the shoulder. "How big are we going man? If you go bigger than 46 inch I'm moving in on the couch."

"Well I think 46 inch will be about right. Anything bigger won't fit on that wall and.."

"And anything smaller is a waste of pixels." Kyle interrupted.

"Right. Basically to be able to use the 1080p to it's fullest extent you have to have a 40 inch or above.." Adam explained reading the tags under the TV in front of him.

"Whatever man. Bigger is better." Kyle said leaning in the read the tag as well. "Just imagine getting high and watching HD on one of these things." He whispered.

"That does sound awesome..." Adam turned and greeted the overly sweet salesperson that was headed their way.

Two hours later Kyle was helping Adam luge the brand new 46 inch Samsung TV up the front stairs. Once inside they tore into the box like a couple of children, tossing Styrofoam and plastic wrapping in different directions.

"Wait man.. that painting.. it's not only awful but it's got to go for the TV to fit." Kyle said, standing and walking over to the cabinet and pulling Rachel's painting down. "Looks better already."

Adam shifted on his knees to relief the ache that was making it's self known. "To be honest.. that has to be one of the worst paintings I've seen. I just hung it up because she was so proud of it." Adam admitted giving up on sitting on the floor and moving to the couch, stretching out and reaching for the bong on the table.

"This stuff has helped me more than half those damn pills I have to take everyday." Adam muttered lighting up and taking a deep breath of smoke. "I'm gonna chill here and let you hook that shit up."

"Oh really? I don't work for free. I demand at least 3 HD movies to watch while we wait for the cable man." Kyle teased, moving books and DVD cases off the shelf the TV would be sat on.

"Deal." Adam mummered turning to lay along the couch, feeling suddenly tired. Adam pulled out his phone and shot a text to Tommy.

'Apparently I pushed myself too much today. Kyle is doing the grunt work. Nap time.'

'**Be careful and rest. Text me when you wake up enjoy that TV**.'

Adam drifted in and out to the sounds of Kyle puttering around and randomly cursing. Adam quickly found that he couldn't get comfortable enough to actually sleep and it was too early to take his sleep meds. Adam gave a frustrated sigh and tried in vein to rub away the discomfort in his lower back.

'This sucks. My back is killing me and I can't even get comfortable enough to nap.'

'**Do you still got that weed? Smokes some more. It'll relax you enough that maybe you can rest**.'

"Who are you texting? It's not Rachel is it? Please tell me it's not that cunt." Kyle asked picking up Adam's legs so that he could sit on the couch and rest Adam's feet in his lap, apparently finished hooking up the TV.

"It's not Rachel. I promise. It's just someone I met." Adam hedged, slipping his phone back in his pocket.

"Oh a girl?"

"No man it's not like that."

"What is it like then?"

"None of your business. That's what it's like." Adam nudged Kyle with his foot. "You got that DVD player connected or do I need to call Rachel and have your man card taken away?"

"Good avoidance there. Threatening my man card to distract me from the strange person your texting all the time. That was defiantly a +5 dodge. I'll let it go for now." Kyle shifted Adam's legs off his lap and apologized when Adam winced. "Can I get you something? A heating pad? Pain meds?"

"Oh honey your so sweet." Adam teased reaching for the bong again, laughing and coughing out smoke as Kyle flips him off. "For real though, could you bring me both? Then we can watch a movie." Adam scooted back on the couch and leaned against the arm, trying to leave room for Kyle to sit.

"Your lucky your sexy or I'd leave you hanging." Kyle joked as he appeared moments later with a handful.

"Thanks man." Adam curled the heating pad under his back and tossed back a few pills. Kyle sat down and started up the DVD and about 20 minutes in to some action movie with Daniel Craig, Adam felt his eyes getting heavy. Kyle patted his knee and he took that as permission to fall asleep.

The next day Kyle insisted on dragging Adam out. "Let's get laid man." He had exclaimed pushing Adam into his room to pick out something more suitable than sweats and a hoodie.

Adam was surprised when he ended up in bed with a pretty brunette girl. He wasn't sure how this all worked but he was glad it did.. until she climbed over him and started to ride him. Pain blossomed across his body and he gasped. She must have thought he was gasping for another reason and started to thrust herself down on him harder.

Finally Adam had to make her get off of him, his erection had started to wilt and he felt horrible for leaving her hanging. He didn't text Tommy that night.

Two days later, Rachel showed up.

'I threw Rachel off my porch today. She came by saying she was there to pick up her things...she kissed me Tommy. And for a moment I really wanted to let her back. I wanted things to be normal again. But they won't be normal anymore will they?'

Tommy sat on the cold metal bench in the locker room. He had just finished working out and had heard the ping of his phone before he went to the shower. Tommy sighed and leaned his head against the concrete wall.

'**We can never go back once things change. Thing will never be normal. Normal is something that everyone aspires to but never reaches**.'

'Wow, your like obi-wan or something.'

'**Your high.**'

'Yes. But I had chemo yesterday. And my therapist gave me a ride home. I feel like such a man right now.'

' We're about to improve Rachel's painting like the joker in that batman movie.'

'**Send me a picture when your done. I need to see this**.'

Tommy chuckled and sat his phone to the side. He's been so busy these last few days leading up to his fight in New York. He had 4 more days and he was training hard. He wanted to make sure he won because he knew Adam would be watching.

Training along side Colt was new for him but things were going well. Tommy left the gym every night with a bone deep ache that left him satisfied. Tommy showered quickly and gathered his bag.

When Tommy came out of the locker room Colt was waiting for him. Tommy help Colt close up the gym and with a nod and a wave Tommy headed back to his apparent. When he was about half way home he checked his phone and saw that Adam had sent him two pictures. Apparently a before and after of the infamous painting.

"God that's awful.." Tommy muttered stopping in the street to look at the yellow and purple splashed canvas.

When he flipped to the after he bust out laughing so hard that he had to lean against the near by wall to stay upright. The painting was on fire among other damage.

'**Vast improvement**.' Tommy text back as he started walking towards his house again.

'Kyle insists we hang it back up. I think I know a good spot. Pics to come.'

Tommy stuck his phone back in his pocket as he rounded the corner to his house and stopped in his tracks when he saw the all to familiar car parked in front of his apartment building. As he got closer he saw the figure of his father sitting on the front steps apparently asleep. He nudged the older man awake.

"What do you want old man?" Tommy asked pulling out his keys.

Paddy opened his eyes and stood slowly. "I wanted to see you."

"You've seen me. Now go home. I need to rest." Tommy moved to unlock the front door but stopped when he saw the stricken look on his father's face. "What?" He snapped, feeling bad instantly.

"Look Tommy. I wanted to say I'm sorry.. and that I understand why you don't want me training you anymore. I screwed up. I've done a lot of that in your life. To be honest I'm amazed your even here in my presence. Anyways, I wanted to tell you that I'm back in AA. I'm going three times a week." He shuffled nervously, not wanting to meet his son's eye.

Tommy stood there with the keys in the door and took a deep breath. He had a choice. He could send Paddy away and worry about the man relapsing again, or he could just take the old man inside and tell him what's on his mind. Then he may relapse anyway. With a sigh he unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"Come on. I'll make some coffee." Tommy muttered stepping inside and flipping on the light. Paddy followed him in and looked around the sparse but neat apartment.

"This is nice Tommy. I'm glad you're doing well for yourself." Paddy stood in the hallway nervously as Tommy made his way to the kitchen to put on the coffee. "I didn't think you intended to put down roots."

"I didn't, and I still haven't." Tommy pulled two mismatched coffee cups from the cabinet and turned towards his dad. "Pop.. I stay here because I want to."

Paddy cleared his throat and sat at the small kitchen table. "Brendan told me you went up there for a visit. I'm glad. I've always hoped that one day you two could patch things up."

"We're getting there." Tommy poured to black cups of coffee and say one in front of his dad and took the seat across from him. "Look pops. I'm not good at expressing what I'm feeling but I can say this: I can't handle you relapsing again. If I find you drunk, or if I even smell it on you, I'm gone. You'll never see me again. I... I want you in my life. But I can't let you if you can't stop the drinking."

Paddy took a sip of his coffee and nodded. "I understand Tommy. I know how much I've hurt you.. hell for you entire life. I want to be here for you. Maybe you were right to fire me. This way I can concentrate on staying sober."

Tommy sipped at his own coffee and let his father's words sink in. "Look pops. I have a fight in New York in four days. Why don't you see if Brendan might come down and watch the fight with you."

The old man was shocked by Tommy's suggestion. Brendan was talking to Paddy on the phone but so far had refused to let him visit or see his grandchildren. "That would be nice. I'll call him tomorrow and ask him."

Tommy nodded and popped his neck. "How about I talk to Brendan. I think he'll do better if it comes from me."

After what felt like an hour Tommy let his father out the front door with a quite 'good night'. Tommy leaned against the door and let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He pulled out his phone and text Adam to see if he was available to talk. Apparently opening up to a stranger first was helping him open up to his family.

A smile spread on Tommy's face as his phone started ringing. It took him a moment to swipe the screen properly, but he answered and Adam's familiar voice filtered through the phone.

"So I talked to my dad tonight.." He said walking towards his bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Adam woke up excited. Today not only was he going to go hang out with Mitch and Alan, but tonight was Tommy's fight. He hadn't actually seen the man in months so a little visual refresher couldn't hurt. Adam kept telling himself he was going to watch it because Tommy was his friend and he wanted to support him, not because he still had dreams of being pinned down under his considerable bulk.

Adam pulled himself out of bed and fought limping as he made his way to the kitchen. He ate a light breakfast and took his meds before he sat down to attempt to roll a few joints to take with him to Mitch's house in the woods.

Around an hour later Kyle barged in the door and plopped himself down in the chair across from Adam who had several neat looking joints in front of him. "Wow those look good. How long you been at it?"

"An hour or so. You don't want to see the first few I did. They are complete shit." Adam chuckled and handed the joints to kyle who tucked them in a metal cigarette case.

"You need to eat something. You're looking a bit rough today." Adam knit his brows and watched as Kyle searched around the kitchen until he found something eatable. Minutes later a plate of basic scrambled eggs were placed in front of him.

"Thanks man. Do I look that bad? I mean you never feed me." Adam self consciously adjusted the beanie on his head. He'd looked in the mirror. He knew he was looking rough but he didn't realize how bad it was getting.

"I'm not gonna lie: your looking a bit thin and pale. I'm sure it's just from then chemo but you really need to eat more." Kyle smiled, trying to soften the blow of his words.

"I try. I just feel sick a lot. Even with the weed after a while I just can't eat." Adam pushed the eggs around his plate and finally took a bite. The eggs taste sour in his mouth but he swallows them anyways. "Maybe I should get some protein shakes?"

"Well we're going to go hang out with the perfect people to ask." nodded and ate about half the eggs before giving up and grabbing his jacket.

Adam lit up a joint on the way to Mitch's house when he started to feel car sick. He grumbled under his breath about how everything seemed to make him sick now. Kyle rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder and Adam gave him a weak smile.

They made comfortable small talk for the half an hour drive. What they didn't talk about was how in a month Adam had to go in for his tests to see if the chemo was working.

Adam found himself laughing. Laughing so hard his sides hurt. Mitch, Alan, Kyle, and himself say around a table in the back yard and shared the joints that Adam had rolled. They talked about the radio. Adam felt a little dumb admitting his love for the outdated format but Mitch and Alan seemed to agree with him.

They had been talking for 2 hours when Mitch's wife brought them the horrible wheat grass shots. Adam felt a knot in his chest when he saw the love between the two of them. He couldn't help but to feel a little jealous and lonely. Adam unconsciously ran his fingers over his phone in his pocket. He found himself wondering what Tommy was doing right then and how he was getting ready for the fight later that night. Adam slept on the way home. Kyle nudged him awake and with a short goodbye Adam walked slowly up his front steps. His back felt like it was twisting in on it's self.

As soon as he was in the house he went straight for his pain medicine and popped as many as he was allowed at a time. He stretched out on the couch with the heating pad and rested for a bit. Tommy's fight wasn't on for another hour and a half so Adam set an alarm and let himself nap a bit longer. He sighed feeling like all he did anymore was sleep but what choice did he have with all the meds he was taking?

An hour later Adam's phone pinged. He popped an eye open and looked blearily at the screen. Adam sat up when he saw the message from Tommy on the screen.

'**In the locker room. Getting pumped about this fight. I'm going to destroy that ring**.'

Adam wasn't sure why the thought of Tommy washing the floor with his opponent was hot but he couldn't fight the tiny bud of warmth building in his belly.

'Good luck. I'm watching. Kick his ass.' Adam smiled and sat up, the stitch in his back seemed to have eased which was a small blessing, and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels until he saw the octagon shining brightly. He sat and listened to the commentators yammer on about Tommy's opponent that evening. The guy was big but not as big as Tommy and broad with a tattoo across his belly.

"He looks like a douche." Adam muttered to the empty house. Skeletor, who had curled up on the floor next to him while he slept, perked up and his tail flopped on the floor in agreement. "Glad you agree with me." He rubbed the fine fur on the dogs head and smiled.

Adam's head immediately popped up when he heard Tommy's name. A short clip of Tommy knocking a guy out, in what looked like a small gym, showed on the screen as they rambled on about how Tommy had burst on the scene two years ago after the video they were showing popped up on YouTube.

Adam leaned towards the TV and soaked in the information that he didn't realize he wanted to know about. They discussed Tommy's military career and Adam felt the seed of heat in his belly grow as he thought of Tommy in camo and being a war hero was pretty hot too. Adam was a bit confused but he figured he's already gotten off with the guy so the damage to his sexuality had already been done.

Moments later the commentators turn their attention to the ring where the opponent, a guy they were calling 'The Roman' was walking up to the ring with some obnoxious rock song playing in the background. The crowd was cheering as he entered the ring and the ref checked him out. Then the auditorium went quite.

The camera focused on Tommy, wearing a look as dark as his hoodie. Adam had almost forgotten how big the guy was and his eyes traveled over the muscles showing under the dark fabric. Tommy didn't use any walk up music as he made his way to the ring. The crowd was going absolutely nuts, it was obvious who was the favorite in this fight. Tommy pulled the hoodie over his head when he reached the ring and Adam gave up trying to not be aroused. Tommy's body was already covered in a sheen of sweat from his warm up and Adam had to adjust himself in his jeans.

Adam could feel the tension building as the two fighters met in the center of the ring. When the ref stepped back the two men returned to their corners seconds later a bell rang and Tommy moved towards the other man like a freight train. The next few minute were filled with Tommy pounding the other man into the mat.

Adam was impressed that the guy actually lasted 3 rounds when Tommy finally punched him upside the head and he went down like a sack of potatoes. Adam cheered when the ref counted the man out and Tommy was declared the winner. Tommy raised his fist in the air and had a small grin on his face as the in ring camera came in for a close up. Adam swore he was looking right at him through the TV.

"Oh fuck." Adam muttered feeling himself go from interested and aroused to rock hard. Adam shooed Skeletor away and unbuttoned his pants and they pulled Tommy aside for the after fight interview.

Adam had no idea what was being said and he didn't care as he slipped his hand in his pants, his eyes focusing on the way Tommy's lips moved. Adam let out a small moan as he wrapped his fist around himself. After a second he pulled his hand out of his pants and licked his hand to wet his palm, returning to grip his length again, this time pulling quickly at the head. Adam had no interest in dragging this out and soon he wouldn't have Tommy's face spread across his TV.

Adam grunted and thrust up into his fist as they showed a replay of Tommy's knock out punch. He moved his hand over his length as he breath picked up. Now they were showing other highlights of the fight. Adam's eyes traveled over Tommy's body as he threw the other man to the ground, slamming him against the mat.

Soon he was gasping as he felt his body drawing tight, as his orgasm started to build. When Tommy looked into the camera again Adam shouted feeling pleasure ripping through his body, his hand didn't stop as he shuttered and came over his fist until he collapsed back on the couch.

"Oh fuck..." Adam whimpered still twitching with the aftershocks when he realized he should call Tommy and congratulate him. With a sigh, Adam wiped his hand on his boxers and reached for his phone and lit up a joint.

"God Tommy that was amazing.. Congrats man." Tommy listened to Adam's voice mail once he got out of the shower. He sounded breathless and his words were slightly slurred, Tommy wondered what he had be doing while watching the fight. He knew Adam wasn't much of a drinker even though when he first met him he'd been drunk as a skunk.

'**Glad you enjoyed it. Felt great to pound that prick into the ground.**'

'He wasn't the only prick getting pounded.'

Tommy raised his brow and had to stop a moment to figure out how exactly to reply to the fact that Adam had just admitted to jerking off, most likely during the fight.

'Oh shit. I didn't mean to say that. Please forget I sent that.'

'I'm high. I swear I wasn't jerking off.'

'**Don't lie. I'm glad you liked what you saw.**' Tommy chuckled and stood to pull on his jacket.

'I mean.. oh hell. Yes I masturbated. I'm sorry?'

'**Sorry? Don't be sorry. You just gave me something to think about later when I go to bed.**'

Tommy fought a grin as he pocketed his phone, letting Adam stew on that for a minute.

Colt gave Tommy a ride back to their hotel and Tommy stopped him before they reached the elevators.

"Hey man.. do me a favor?" Tommy asked shifting his bag on his shoulder.

"Sure. What do you need? And no I'm not sending a hooker to your room. Your not popular enough for that yet." Colt grinned at him and pushed the button for the elevator.

"I need you to book me a flight to Seattle in the next week or so."

"Seattle? Why?" Colt looked surprised as the stepped in as the doors opened.

"I want to visit a friend of mine that's sick. That's all you need to know. I don't have another fight for a month. I can spare a week." Tommy pressed the button to his floor and Colt followed suit.

"OK man. I'll see what I can do. That's cutting it really close on your next fight. If I let you go you have to promise to keep up your work out. No slacking off the diet and the running while your off gallivanting in Washington."

"Sure." Tommy said simply. Colt smiled at him and waved goodnight to him as he got off on his floor.

Tommy sighed and waited for the elevator to reach his floor. Adam had mentioned that he had an important doctors appointment coming up where they would see how his chemo was progressing. Tommy knew it had to be scary for Adam and he felt like he needed to be there for him. He didn't think that Adam would mine if he showed up. At least he hoped he wouldn't.

Tommy decided to talk to Adam about it the next day when he got back from his chemo treatment. If Adam said 'no' he'd just tell Colt to not book anything.

When he reached his hotel room he stuck his key card in the door and pushed it open heading straight for the bed where he flopped across the hideously pastel comforter.

He pulled out his phone and grinned at the progressively flustered texts from Adam. He really was a bit of a spaz when he got worked up. Tommy shot off a few texts and got back up to order some food to be brought up while he changed into some loose fitting shorts and a t-shirt.

Tommy tipped the person that brought him his food and he sat at the small table, watching the rerun of the fight. Tommy knew he should never watch his own fights because he'd start nit picking, but tonight he watched knowing that across the country Adam had watch it and got turned on.

Tommy sighed and pushed his plate aside before moving back to his bed, the exertion of the night finally catching up to him. The bone deep fatigue washed through him and he slid under the blankets. He shot Adam a few more teasing texts before he shut the TV off and tried to sleep.

The next morning Tommy woke up and groaned at the early hour. He silently packed up his things and waited for Colt in the lobby. When he showed up they nodded to each other in a silent and sleepy communication. On the plane ride back to Pittsburgh they both slept.

Tommy let out a content sigh as he made it back into his apartment. It was finally starting to feel like home. Tommy tossed his bag in the chair and made his way to the kitchen where he pulled out a beer and settled on the couch. He let Adam know he was home safe. When he didn't get a reply he figured Adam was napping or possibly still at his chemo session.

When the sun started to set and he hadn't heard from Adam he started to worry. He tried calling and got no answer. Just when Tommy started pacing his living room he heard the text alert from his phone. With a great heaving sigh he unlocked the screen relieved to see Adam's name on his alerts.

'Mitch is dead.'

Tommy felt his heart sink. He knew how close Adam was to the older men he met during chemo. He didn't know how to respond and he felt useless sitting there on the couch. After a moment he sent Adam the only thing he could think of.

'**I'm here if you need me.**'


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Adam lay in bed all day the next day. He couldn't believe it. He had just seen Mitch and he seemed fine. He was of course mourning his friend but he was also scared shitless. What if he died? Was he going to die like that? Fine one moment and gone the next?

Adam shivered and pulled the blankets tighter around him. Skeletor snuffled and resettled next to him. Kyle had been blowing up his phone for the last day and he had finally set it to silent. He didn't want to talk to him right now. Adam felt like he'd been hollowed out. His chest hurt and his eyes were burning.

He tried to sleep more but his body refused to give him any rest. His mind wouldn't stop with the thoughts of his own mortality. He heard the buzz of his phone again and he huffed out a frustrated sigh. He rolled over and snatched his phone from the nightstand. It wasn't Kyle this time.

Adam sniffed and answered his phone. Tommy's voice filtered through and he couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Tommy I think I'm going to die." his voice cracked as he blurted out his feelings.

"Adam. Listen to me. Don't let it drag you down. I know you cared about Mitch. And I know this is a huge reality check. But you can't wallow. Because if you do die you don't want to die knowing that you spent the last of your time curled in a ball scared of the future." Tommy's voice was calm even if his words stung a little Adam appreciated it.

"I know what your saying but it's just.."

"Terrifying." Tommy cut in.

"Yeah. Mitch had prostate cancer.. that's way more common than what I have."

"Yes but he was also twice your age. Being young is an advantage for you. Your body has more fight than his did. I'm sorry your friend is gone, but right now I need you to stop wallowing, get out of bed, take a shower, shave, cause I know you need to, get dressed and go about your life."

Adam wiped his eyes and and sighed knowing that Tommy was right. "OK."

"Good I know you reek. I can almost smell you through the phone." Tommy teased.

"Fuck you I don't smell that bad." Adam grumbled lifting up the blankets and curling his nose at his own odor. "OK maybe I do."

Tommy chuckled and teased him a bit more until he started moving out of the bed.

"So when is the funeral?" Tommy finally asked.

Adam glanced at the date on his phone. "Tomorrow."

"Well go do what you need to do and call me when you get a change." They exchanged their goodbye and Adam peeled his cloths off and got in the shower.

Tommy had the right idea. After a long shower and a shave Adam felt much better. He still avoided looking at himself in the mirror, not wanting to see how pale he was getting.

When he got dressed he finally returned Kyle's calls and agreed to let him take him to Mitch's funeral the next day. Adam took Skeletor for a walk which he was extremely excited about. Adam felt bad for neglecting the poor thing and took him several extra times around the block even though his back was screaming for him to stop after the second pass.

When he got back inside he stretched out on his couch with his heating pad and flipped through the TV. The next thing he knew it was dark outside. With a sigh he got off the couch and went to take his meds. He knew he had to get up early for Mitch's funeral tomorrow so he took is prescribed sleeping pills and curled back in bed.

Kyle was knocking on his door when Adam came out of the bathroom the next morning. Kyle greeted him with a tight hug and Adam couldn't help by smile a little. Adam finished getting dressed and they climbed into Kyle's jeep.

Adam was able to hold back the tears until he was safely back in his house a few hours later. Kyle staid by his side and tried his best to comfort him. Adam finally calmed himself a hour later and sent Kyle home.

It was Saturday and Adam had his big appointment on Monday so he spent the rest of the day and most of the next trying to distract himself anyway he could. He had Kyle over for most of the day on Sunday and they tried making cookies while smoking out. Even if they turned out a bit on the soft side they still ate them happily. At night he talked to Tommy about his fears about the up coming appointment.

When Adam pulled himself out of bed on Monday morning he sent Tommy a text and getting words of encouragement in return. Adam smiled down at his phone before he made himself get up and get dressed.

When he got to the hospital he was poked, prodded, scanned, and x-rayed. He was told that his results should be back in two days and he left the hospital. He rode the bus home, staring blankly out the window. Two days. How the hell was he supposed to sleep knowing that his life was literally on the line here?

He didn't sleep at all that night. Tommy text him a few times but he didn't respond. He went to see Kathrine his therapist the next day and he felt really bad for blowing up at her.. but he just couldn't handle the bullshit babble anymore.

One day left. Adam called Kyle to see if he was still taking him to his appointment but he wasn't answering. Adam thought for a moment he remembered something about Kyle going to see his mom and he sighed knowing who he had to call.

Twenty minutes later Adam was still sitting on the couch listening to his mother. He loved her. He really did. But he was feeling smothered already. But he decided to take Kathrine's advice and at least try to talk to her.

After another twenty minutes there was a beep on his phone. He looked at his phone and it was Tommy leaving a text. After some convincing, his mom let him go with instructions to eat dinner and a list of things he needed to do for the next day.

'**Let me know what's up as soon as you can.**'

Adam looked at his phone for a long time before clearing the screen. He really didn't feel like talking right then so he sat his alarm and climbed into bed, hoping for at least a few hours of blissful oblivion.

The next morning Adam steeled himself for the next few hours with his mother. He loved her. He really did. She just was a bit much to deal with sometimes. When she honked outside his house Adam pulled on his beanie hat and met her at the curb. His dad was in the front seat looking slightly confused.

He greeted his mom with a hug and shook his dad's hand. It left a cold feeling in his gut to see his father like this. He slid into the back seat, replying to his mom whenever she asked something but otherwise, he stayed quite. His nerves were eating him alive. He didn't feel better, but what did he know? Was the chemo helping? Was he doomed to die? He could barley breath when they made it to the doctors office.

He tired to make peace with his mom. He hadn't been aware of how far he had pushed her away but he felt instantly sorry. He promised his mom he'd be there for her more. Though secretly he wasn't sure how much time he had left.

When the doctor came in he knew the news was going to be bad. His mom cried. He held her hand as his surgery was scheduled for the next week. He felt numb. Maybe this was what Kathrine was talking about when they first met. He couldn't process this information so he just shut down.

He was silent the whole ride home. When his mom dragged him into his house and made him attempt to eat dinner, he sat at the table and stared at the plate of food in front of him.

Finally his mother sighed and kissed him on the head before leaving him sitting by himself at his small kitchen table with a cold plate of food in front of him. Adam felt the tears well up in his eyes and he couldn't stop them. He rested his head in his hands and let the sobs tear out of his chest.

He cried for what felt like hours. He cried until he couldn't shed anymore tears and then he just sobbed until his chest hurt. He felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket and he suddenly remember he was supposed to let Tommy and Kyle know what was going on. Adam sat up and wiped his face, trying to pull himself together as best as he could.

'**What's the news?**'

Adam stared at his phone not knowing what to say. He started to type a message back but would delete it quickly. Nothing sounded right.

'**Stop being a pussy. Tell me what the doctor said**.'

Adam could hear the annoyance in the text, so he cracked his neck and started typing.

'I have to have surgery. The chemo wasn't working... I think I'm going to die.'

There was no reply for a while and Adam absently poked at the plate of spaghetti in front of him. Twenty minutes later his phone buzzed against the table.

'**When is the surgery?**'

'A week from Thursday. I have 8 days. God Tommy. What if I die on the table? What if the surgery doesn't work?' Adam knew he was sounding frantic but that was how he was feeling and Tommy seem to be the only person he could let know what was going on inside him.

'**Keep calm. Go smoke some weed and don't panic. I'll talk to you soon. I have some things to arrange.**' Adam sighed and did what Tommy suggested. He took his night time meds and smoked a bowl. It wasn't too long before he was dozing fitfully on the couch. He knew he needed to call Kyle but he just couldn't do it yet.

It was nearly midnight before he text Kyle to tell him the news. It was two hours later before he curled back up on the couch and fell back to sleep.

Tommy's hands shook slightly as he sat his phone down. He had just talked to Colt and told him he was going to be off for a while, that the friend he was visiting having surgery. He looked over at his packed duffle bag with his plane ticket sitting on top. His flight left in a few hours and he still wasn't sure what Adam's address was. He picked up his phone hoping he wasn't disturbing Adam.

'**tell me your address**.'

'Why?'

'**Just tell me**.' When Adam sent his address back he did a quick Google map before grabbing his bag and heading out the door. He walked the several blocks to the bus stop where he climbed on the next bus headed towards the airport.

Two connections later, Tommy walked into the nearly deserted airport. His flight was a red eye, but it'd get him in Seattle in the early morning. It was easy enough to get through security and soon he was dozing lightly on the half filled plane.

He managed about 2 hours of sleep on his 8 hour flight in between the chatty people behind him and the screaming baby two isle over. He was never so grateful to see the Seattle airport. He stepped off the plane just as the morning sun was starting to filter through the windows. He swayed a little as he waited for his bag to come through the claim, the small amount of sleep he had was hurting him more than helping.

Tommy stopped in the airport coffee shop and ordered an extremely strong coffee and sat to drink it and ate the overpriced muffin he bought. He was starting to feel unsure about his decision to come to Seattle and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, turning it back on. He didn't have any missed text but that wasn't a surprise. Adam was most likely still asleep, if he slept at all that night.

Tommy started to think up a plan as the caffeine started to hit his brain making his eyes feel a little less heavy. He threw his trash away and headed outside, hailing one of the waiting taxis. He piled his bag in the back and gave the cabby Adam's address. Tommy hoped Adam was alone. He knew that Adam hadn't told his friends and family about him and he didn't want to just walk in on him if he had someone there with him. He had a back up plan if he had someone there though. If there was a car out front he'd just ask the cabby to take him to the nearest hotel and he'd try again later. He wanted to surprise Adam not throw him into a awkward situation.

When they pulled onto a sleepy residential street after about 20 minutes, Tommy knew he was close. It was like he could almost feel Adam's presence all over the street. In his head he could see Adam walking though the sleepy streets. The cabby pulled over in front of a small one story house and Tommy's heart kicked up a beat in his chest. This was it. This was Adam's home. Somewhere he'd never really been invited to. He hoped again that he wasn't crossing some unspoken wasn't a car parked anywhere close to the house.

Tommy paid the cabby and grabbed his bag, climbing out onto the sidewalk. Moments later the cab pulled away and Tommy looked up and down the tree lined street then back at the house. All the curtains were pulled and the house was quite. Adam was probably asleep. He mentally kicked himself and pulled his bad up on his shoulder. He gave himself a mental shake and slowly started walking to the faded wooden steps.

His gut twisted as he moved up the creaky steps. Before he knew it he was standing in front of Adam's door. He took a deep breath and rang the door bell. Once again he hoped he had made the right decision coming here but it was too late to back out now.

After a few agonizing moments, small sounds of movement came from behind the door. Tommy shifted his weight and fought the sudden urge to run. Tommy's breath caught in his chest as the handled rattled.

When the door opened Tommy felt his gut hit the floor. It was Adam, but he looked horrible. His skin was pale and dry, his eyes were sunken with dark rings underneath, he was painfully thin, and Tommy could see old and new bruises standing out on his forearms. It took Tommy a minute to realize Adam was staring at him in shock, the look in his eye showed that he noticed Tommy's reaction.

"It's you." Adam whispered. He rubbed his eyes like he thought Tommy would disappear. Skeletor poked his head around the door curiously.

Tommy couldn't think of anything to say so he stepped forward and carefully pulled the smaller man into his arms. Adam stiffened for a moment but then melted into Tommy's arms. Tommy could feel Adam shaking and soon there were soft gasps, letting Tommy know that he was probably crying.

Tommy shushed him gently and as quickly as it started Adam's tears dried up. When he looked up at Tommy his face was red and Tommy knew he was feeling embarrassed and he gave him a grin before shifting his bag on his shoulder.

"Can I come in?" Tommy asked.

Adam nodded and reluctantly moved away and led Tommy into the house. Adam muttered that he should take a seat so Tommy sat awkwardly on the couch that was still warm and pet the odd looking dog that was crawling into his lap. Adam walked towards his bed room and pulled his shirt over his head. Before he disappeared into his room Tommy could see the large bruise on his side.

Alarmed, Tommy left his bag and the dog on the couch and followed Adam. "Where did that come from?" Tommy asked leaning against the door frame.

Adam looked down at himself and sighed. "Apparently I sleep on my right side a lot and it started bruising from the pressure. On the plus side of everything I don't have to do chemo anymore." Adam's voice sounded tired, he looked tired.

Tommy moved into the room and placed a hand on Adam's shoulder. He was relieved to find the skin warm beneath his fingers. "Get in bed. You need to rest."

Adam glanced from Tommy's hand to his face before nodding. "I'm being a horrible host and you've only been here 10 minutes."

"Don't worry about me. You rest. I'll stretch out on couch and catch a few as well. I've had a long sleepless flight. If that's OK?"

"Of course." Adam looked almost offended that Tommy was even thinking about not staying.

Tommy smiled and pulled off Adam's beanie, giving his bald head a rub. Adam chuckled and smacked Tommy's hand away. Moments later, Adam was changed out of yesterdays cloths and Tommy was helping him pull the covers over. Tommy grinned as Skeletor jumped on the bed and curled up next to Adam, who scratched him on the ears.

"Gets some rest." Tommy whispered, standing from the bed and returning to the living room. He looked around the house for a moment, letting himself get acquainted with the different rooms. He paused in front of the all too familiar painting now hanging destroyed in the hall. Tommy chuckled and shook his head before he went back to the living room and flopped on the surprisingly comfortable couch. Tommy tried not to think of how his mother had looked in her last day as he closed his eyes, reminding himself that Adam had just been through months of chemo therapy which was known for making you look rough.

Tommy started planning out what he was going to do to help Adam and before long he tuned his head into the cushion and fell asleep with his nose filled with Adam's scent.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Adam wasn't sure what time it was when he finally woke up. What he was sure of was the smell food being cooked somewhere near by. Suddenly he remembered Tommy showing up at his door. He hadn't been fully awake at the time, but if that was Tommy in the kitchen frying bacon then it couldn't have been a dream.

Adam sighed and stretched a little before rolling slowly out of bed. He grabbed his hat off the table before following the smell of food into his kitchen. Tommy was standing over the stove in a t-shirt, loose shorts, and bare feet, he appeared to be making breakfast.

"I didn't know you cooked?" Adam asked wincing as he leaned against the fridge.

"I had to learn when my mom was sick. And when I'm training it's just easier to cook for myself. Now go sit down before you fall down." Tommy ordered, barely looking up from the pan of eggs.

Adam nodded and started towards the small table, stopping just to grab his bag of pill bottles. He sat at the table and started pulling out his pills before remembering that he hadn't gotten anything to take them with. Before he could move to get up Tommy silently plopped a glass of OJ in front of him.

"Thanks." Adam muttered popping his pills. "So what brings you to Seattle? Please tell me you didn't hop the first flight out on my account."

"Well actually I had planned to come visit to see how you were doing for a few weeks now. But things kept happening and a good time to tell you never came up. I was already packed when you told me what the doctor said." Tommy sat two plates of bacon, eggs, and toast on the table and pulled up one of the chairs.

"Thanks for cooking." Adam said awkwardly, picking at his plate.

"Your welcome. And if you don't eat every bit I'll be forced to start breaking fingers." Tommy stated coolly as he bit into a crispy piece of bacon.

Adam didn't wait to see if that was a real threat or not and started eating. He was surprised at how good it tasted. He had only been two weeks without chemo and already his sense of taste was coming back.

"Wow.. food has taste. I had nearly forgot."

"Chemo will do that I hear. Right now you are far to skinny. I'm putting you on high protein while I'm here." Tommy ate with his elbows on the table and leaned in to meet Adam's eye. "I'll have you up 10 lbs by the time you have surgery."

"Oh god. Don't bring that up. I'd rather live in a dreamworld where I'm not getting my back cut open in a week." Adam froze when he saw Tommy's eyes harden.

"Don't be stupid. Accept what has to happen. Living in a dreamworld is a weak person's coping mechanism. Besides, I'll be here to help you as long as I can."

Adam felt a little ashamed as he broke eye contact and started eating again, but he knew Tommy was right. Avoiding thinking about what was coming wasn't going to make it go away.

"Thanks...It's just scary. All of this shit is scary. Some days I feel like I'm dying. Others I don't feel as bad." Adam sighed as he ate the last bite on his plate and sat back along the bench seat. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Moments later he felt Tommy settle on the bench next to him and a large hand rubbed between his shoulders. Adam melted into the touch.

"I need to go rent a car today, if you'd like to join me." Tommy said casually changing the subject, like he wasn't turning Adam into a puddle of goo next to him.

"Sure. But I'm going to have to talk to Kyle at some point. He doesn't really know about you and I really don't want to explain everything to him right now." Adam hoped Tommy wasn't offended but when he looked at the other man he seemed understanding.

"That's fine. Once I have a car I can leave when Kyle comes over. You need more groceries anyways. Really, your fridge is bare. What have you been eating?"

Adam looked down at the table and blushed a little. "Cheetos?"

Tommy didn't look pleased. "I know your not hard up for money.. and all you've been eating is Cheetos?"

"Cookies too." Adam scoffed at Tommy.

Tommy made a frustrated noise and rested is head in his hands. "Get up. Get dressed. We're going to the grocery store. Munchies are not food."

Adam grinned at Tommy as he reached across the table and pulled his plate over so he could finished up his eggs. Adam gave Tommy a shove as soon as he put down his fork and scooted to the end of the bench, standing slowly. His back was stiff and the knot in his hip was making itself known.

"Do I get to ride the little electric cart?" Adam asked over his shoulder as he walked to his bedroom to shower and get dressed.

"Sure. And If your good I'll let you ride the pony out front."

Adam burst out laughing for what felt like the first time in days. "I can't wait! You bring the quarters though." he gasped out when Tommy started chuckling with him.

Two hours later, Tommy had a rented Jeep outside and Adam's fridge was full. Adam had indeed rode in the electric cart and had attempted, more than once, to run Tommy over, knocking into his cart repeatedly. When Tommy helped Adam inside he crashed out immediately on the couch with the heating pad. Tommy had brought in the groceries and put everything up before bringing a blanket to Adam who was now snoring softly, sprawled on the couch. Tommy grinned down at Adam and tucked the blanket around her before he went back to the kitchen and started cooking dinner.

The next day Kyle came by while Tommy was out for a afternoon run. Adam sent him a text as a warning and Tommy doubled his run time and made a wide circle around town. It wasn't too long before Adam text again saying Kyle had left to go on a date with the girl from a nearby coffee shop.

Tommy jogged up the front steps and pulled open the unlocked door. He kicked off his trainers and stripped his shirt over his head as soon as the cool air inside the house hit him. When he turned around Adam was staring at him from his seat on the couch, his eyes glassy from the weed the two had smoked. Tommy smirked as he casually walked to the bathroom and started the shower.

"Five days." Adam groaned. He had just come back from an apparently agonizing dinner with his mother and was laying face down on the couch. Tommy nudged him to sit up and sat next to him.

"Five days and you may be completely free of cancer." Tommy suggested.

"Who knows.. after they cut me open I may never be able to walk again." Adam sniffed and looked away from Tommy towards the TV. Tommy could read the worry in Adam's posture and he scooted closer and put his arm around the smaller man.

"I'm not trying to candy coat anything but, the surgeons know what they are doing. Is it possible? Yes. Is it going to happen? Most likely not. You could die Thursday. Chances are that you won't but anytime you go under there is a chance you won't wake back up." Tommy pulled Adam closer and ran a comforting hand along his arm.

"I've never had surgery." Adam whispered leaning into Tommy's shoulder.

"Really you go under so fast you don't have much time to worry. It's the build up waiting for them to come get you that kills."

"When did you have surgery?" Adam asked shifting so that he was looking up at tommy.  
"I've had two. First one was when I was a kid. Had my tonsils taken out. The second one was after my brother dislocated my shoulder in a fight. I had to have a muscle tear corrected. I was under for 2 hours and all I remember was the nurse coming in to get me and they gave me something to help keep me calm. I don't remember anything after than until I woke up. Felt like falling asleep really quickly and it felt like I hadn't been asleep more than a few seconds when I woke back up. Best part was the morphine. I was high as a kite for several hours afterward."

Adam chuckled and shifted against Tommy's side. "So your going to be here right?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Adam yawned and tried to stretch but gasped when his muscles in his back caught.

"Come on. Lets get you to bed. I'll even throw in a back rub." Tommy said giving Adam a chance to get up before following him to his bed room.

"That actually sounds amazing." Adam muttered.

"Shirt off." Tommy ordered as he headed to the bathroom to grab the bottle of lotion he knew was on the counter. When he came back in the bedroom Adam was sitting on the edge of the bed as he unbuttoned the dress shirt he had worn to his mothers. Tommy watched with a little more interest than necessary as Adam pulled the shirt from his shoulders.

Adam was painfully thin but Tommy still found himself drawn to him. "Lie down." Tommy's voice was deep as Adam stretched out face down on his messy sheets. Tommy moved to straddle Adam's thighs, setting the bottle of lotion next to him on the bed. He kept his weight off the other man's legs as he shifted and settled on his knees.

"Tell me if I hurt you." Tommy said and waited for Adam to nod before squeezing out some lotion and rubbing it between his hands to warm it.

The first press of fingers and palms against Adam's shoulders made him groan. Tommy worked his slick fingers along the smaller mans spine, feeling the tight muscles beneath his fingers. Tommy concentrated on the tight knots in Adam's lower back and felt the muscles slowly start to loosen.

The noises Adam was making were bordering on obscene and Tommy did his best to keep his mind on the task at hand but he could feel himself stirring in his shorts. Soon enough he wouldn't be able to hide it. He kept his hands working, leaving relaxed muscles in his wake and he could feel Adam's skin heating up as he started to flush around his neck and shoulders.

Tommy started when he felt a warm hand on his knee under his shorts and when he glanced down Adam's hand was tentatively making it's way up Tommy's thigh. Tommy made a low noise in his throat as Adam's fingers found his growing length, just barley brushing the fabric of his boxers. Tommy glanced up to see Adam watching him over his shoulder, his cheeks flushed and his breath coming in short pants. Tommy grinned and leaned down to press his lips against the back of Adam's neck.

"Roll over." Tommy whispered in his ear before lifting himself off Adam's legs so the smaller man could comply.

As soon as Adam was on his back Tommy warmed more lotion in his hands and started with first one arm and then the other, working from finger tips to shoulder. By the time Tommy had worked over Adam's shoulders and started on his chest he could feel the other man's heart pounding in his chest. Tommy slowly worked his fingers over his stomach finally coming to a stop at the button of Adam's jeans that were tented with is obvious erection.

Adam's hands fidgeted at his sides and he made a sound far to close to a whimper as Tommy popped the button on his jeans and slid the zipper down. Adam lifted his hips as Tommy pulled the jeans down his legs before dropping them off the side of the bed.

"Tommy.." Adam whispered reaching and gripping his shirt, using it to pull the other man closer. Adam slotted his lips with Tommy's in a heated kiss. A moan rumbled deep in Tommy's chest as he worked a lotion slick hand into his own shorts, giving himself a few long pulls,

Adam pulled Tommy's shirt over his head before pulling the larger man back against him. Tommy braced himself over Adam, not letting his full weight resting against the other man. Adam's skin was still slick from the lotion as Tommy slipped down his body, trailing his lips along his chest, and he couldn't stop the giggle bubbling in his chest as Tommy's stubble tickled against his stomach.

"I don't want to hurt you." Tommy breathed against the skin of Adam's stomach.

"I know you won't" Adam said running his fingers through Tommy's hair.

Tommy hooked his fingers in Adam's boxer briefs and pulled them down, letting them join his jeans on the floor. Adam's erection was straining against his stomach where a small pool of precum had started to form and Tommy dipped down to run his tongue across the head.

Adam gasped and his hips jumped at the contact and Tommy chuckled. "Been a while huh?" Tommy teased before resting his hands on Adam's hips and wrapping his lips around the glands.

Adam moaned apparently unable to form words, and his fingers tightened in Tommy's hair. Tommy took mercy on the man and took his length in his mouth, swirling his tongue over the head. There was no way Adam was going to last very long, judging by the way his legs were twitching with each bob of Tommy's head.

Adam shivered as Tommy pulled off, not wanting him to come too soon, and took him in hand. Adam cursed and grabbed at Tommy's shoulders, not really sure what he was trying to accomplish. Tommy grinned evilly and ran his tongue from base to tip before wrapping his lips back around Adam's length.

Adam bit his lip trying to hold back the sounds being ripped from him, but Tommy reached up and ran his fingers over his lips. Adam sucked those fingers between his lips and it was Tommy's turn to moan.

"Tommy, I'm gonna.." Adam gasped as he pulled at Tommy's hair in warning. Tommy moved up his body quickly, wrapping his fingers around Adam's twitching erection and locking his lips with Adam's. Tommy sucked the other man's bottom lip between his as he stroked Adam quickly, concentrating on the head and glands.

Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy's shoulders and cried out shuddering violently as he spilled between their bodies. Tommy growled, stroking him through his orgasm. Adam gasped against his lips as he fought to bring his body back under control.

Tommy grinned against his lips as he reached a hand into his shorts. Adam looked down and bit his lip, watching Tommy's hand move inside the lose fabric.

"I want to see." Adam muttered reaching for the band of Tommy's shorts, helping him pull them down his legs. Tommy gave him a lopsided grin before bracing himself on one arm and leaning down to brush his lips against Adam's.

Adam chuckled running his hands over Tommy's arms and chest, taking time to explore each tattoo. "Your going to explain what all these mean one day." He whispered as he reached for the bottle of lotion forgotten in the blankets.

Adam reached a slick hand down to join Tommy's, ripping a low sound from the other man. Adam had never done this to anyone else but he knew what he liked and did his best to translate that to a different angle.

When Tommy let Adam take over and started to thrust into his hands, he figured he was doing well enough. Tommy started to tremble and Adam reached up to claim his lips again knowing the other man was getting close.

Moments later Tommy stiffened against him, his breath rushing out in a few quite grunts, and Adam felt him spilling over his hands and onto his already soiled belly.

Tommy sighed and rolled to the side, laying flat beside Adam on the bed as they both caught their breath. Tommy grinned over at Adam and patted his side before crawling out of the bed.

"Lets get you cleaned up." Tommy said moving into the bathroom.

Adam heard water running and soon Tommy came back, having ditched his shorts and boxers in the bathroom, he started wiping Adam clean.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Adam asked.

Tommy gave him a lopsided grin and a wink. "Don't ask, don't tell."

When Tommy went to move away Adam reached out and grabbed his arm. "Stay."

Tommy hesitated for a moment before climbing into the bed next to Adam and pulling the blankets over them.

Adam sighed happily and snuggled up next to Tommy, who awkwardly arranged them in a position that would keep Adam as comfortable as possible but not have the smaller man's boney bits poking him.

"Sleep." Tommy whispered, curling his arm around Adam's waist. Tommy figured he wouldn't be able to sleep so early, but after a little while of listening to Adam's even breaths he found him self slipping and he pulled Adam a little closer before letting himself fall asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Adam jerked awake and looked around. He wasn't immediately sure what had woke him but as soon as he noticed Tommy's labored breathing next to him, he knew that was it. Adam sat up slowly and looked down at the other man, his face was buried into the pillow, and beads of sweat gathered on his brow before rolling down his cheek. Adam's heart sank as Tommy twitched violently, obviously in the throws of a nightmare.

"Tommy?" Adam whispered, reaching out to touch his hand. Tommy jerked away from the touch but didn't wake. Adam called his name again a little louder. Finally he reached up and shook Tommy's clammy shoulder firmly and shouted his name.

Tommy's eyes shot open and locked on Adam, and for a split second Adam was relieved. Right up until he was pinned in a awkward angle to the bed, Tommy's forearm pressed across his windpipe.

"Tommy stop!" Adam wheezed out fighting against the bigger man. Adam looked into Tommy's eyes and knew that even tho they were open Tommy wasn't really awake.

Adam pulled at Tommy's arm as his vision started to get gray around the edges and for a moment, Adam had a thought that Tommy might kill him. Seconds later Tommy jerked away from him, throwing himself against the headboard.

"Oh god. Adam. I'm-" Tommy stammered, covering his mouth and looking pointedly away from Adam who was pulling his legs out from under himself.

"Tommy," Adam gasped reaching for the other man's hand. Tommy jerked away from his fingers and Adam felt his heart break. Tommy had told him about his PTSD, about his nightmares, but it hadn't really registered. "Tommy. It's me; Adam. It's OK."

Adam moved slowly and reached again for Tommy's hand. This time he only startled, but allowed the touch. Adam gently brushed his fingers against the back of Tommy's hand before traveling up his arm and very so slowly wrapping his arms around the other man. He could feel Tommy shaking slightly and he just squeezed him tighter.

It seemed like an eternity had passed before he felt Tommy's arms tentatively wrap around him. He heard the other man sniff before turning his face into the crook of Adam's neck, his breathing coming in deep shuttering breaths.

Adam tangled his fingers in Tommy's hair and gently started smoothing his fingers down his rigid back. A few moments later the tension started to bleed out of the other man and Adam pulled back to place a kiss against Tommy's temple.

"Hey, you OK?" Adam asked, pushing wild strands of hair off Tommy's forehead.

"I should be asking you that." Tommy muttered, still not meeting his eye.

"I'm fine. Now lay down." Adam whispered.

"Adam.." Tommy started, his gray eyes red rimmed as they watched him lay back on the bed.

Adam shushed him and pulled Tommy by the arm until he relented and let the smaller man wrap his arms around him.

Adam held Tommy until his breathing evened out and Adam was grateful that the demons that were haunting him seemed to be taking a break.

It was only two hours later when Adam woke again. Tommy was still sleeping peacefully, but no matter how hard Adam tried, he couldn't fall back asleep. There was a tightness in Adam's chest that was bothering him, that seemed to only ease when he would take a deep breath. He felt antsy.

After another hour of watching the daylight slowly creep across the ceiling, Adam gave up on sleep and limped into the kitchen to put on some coffee. As soon as Adam sat down at the table with his cup he heard Tommy's shuffling steps as he came out of the bedroom.

Tommy came around the corner, not to subtly scratching himself, his hair standing out all over his head, he gave Adam a hesitant grin as he moved to pour himself some coffee. Adam grinned back as Tommy came to sit at the table.

Adam grabbed his pill bottles with a sigh and started sorting out his different dosages. "I'm not going to make you talk about last night if you don't want to but I really wish you'd talk. I'm more than willing to listen."

"It's nothing." Tommy muttered into his coffee.

"My sore throat says that it's not." Adam swallowed his pills with a mouthful of nearly too hot coffee and winced.

"I'm... I'm really sorry about that. It's been a long time sense I've shared a bed with someone..I didn't know that would happen." Tommy pointedly avoided meeting Adam's eye.

"It's OK..."

"No it's not OK. I could have hurt you" Tommy's eyes flared as he met his eyes.

"Tommy.. I was in the wrong. I knew better than to startle you awake. I've read up on PTSD and I just wasn't thinking. I just wanted.." Adam coughed and turned to look out the window. "I wanted to make your bad dream go away."

Tommy's eyes soften and he slumped in his chair. "You did research on PTSD?"

"Yeah. I mean.. it's not like I don't have time on my hands." Adam reached out and brushed his fingers across the back of Tommy's hand and he grinned taking his fingers between his.

"How are you feeling?" Tommy asked.

"Alright I guess.. I feel...weird."

"'Weird' how?"

"It's nothing. I just feel off is all."

Tommy nodded silently and stood, moving the the fridge to gather the ingredients for breakfast.

Tommy was thankfully nightmare free for the next two nights. He had offered to sleep on the couch that next night but was met with a thrown pillow and a demand that he "get his ass in bed and cuddle damn it".

Adam probably didn't notice how edgy he was getting but Tommy did. As each day passed and the surgery got closer and closer Adam spent more time at his parents house and when he was at home he was like a thread being pulled tighter and tighter.

Tommy did what he could to help. He had noticed that Adam wasn't sleeping well and would fall asleep randomly through out the day. The night before he insisted that Adam soak in a hot bath and when he came to check on the other man half an hour later he found Adam sleeping in the tub. Tommy had nudged him awake, dried him off and helped him to his Pjs before dumping him into bed.

Two days before the surgery Adam had finally told Kyle that he really needed to be left alone for a little while and Tommy had patted him on the back before packing the other man a bowl and flipping on one of the more visually interesting HD movies he found at the local video store.

Adam sat silently watching I Robot with glazed over eyes. Tommy could tell by his posture that his back must be hurting him. He was sitting leaning to the right and his torso was held stiffly. Tommy didn't wait for Adam to ask before he grabbed the heating pad, bringing it back and tucking it behind Adam's back.

Adam gave him a grateful smile and a quite 'thank you' but fell silent once again. Tommy understood his silence and sat back to watch the movie as well. They sat in comfortable silence for the entire movie.

When the movie ended Adam Struggled to his feet and headed towards the kitchen. After a handful of steps Tommy saw Adam's left leg start to give out.

He moved quickly to his feet but wasn't able to reach Adam before he collapsed on the floor. Tommy skidded on his knees and started checking over the cursing pile of limbs in front of him.

"Tommy, I'm fine. Please. Please just..back off." Adam's voice was strained as he pulled himself to a sitting position.

Tommy grumbled but reluctantly sat back on his heels and watched as the other man tried to get back on his feet. After watching Adam nearly fall two more times, Tommy cursed and stood, pulling Adam up with him.

When Adam didn't make a move to pull his feet under him Tommy let him sit back on the floor and rubbed his hand over the smaller man's back.

It wasn't a few moments before he felt Adam start to shake as ragged sobs started ripping from his chest. Tommy pulled him into his arms and leaned against the wall, letting Adam's back lay against his chest.

"Breath." He whispered smoothing the other man's hair from his face. Adam's chest heaved as he tried to draw in a deep breath. It was becoming quickly apparent that Adam was in the grips of a panic attack, his heart was racing in his chest, and Tommy pulled the other man firmly against him, pulling his knees up along his sides and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing gently.

"Adam, listen to my voice and try to make your breathing match mine." Tommy spoke softly as he took several deep breaths. "In, out."

After a few moments he felt Adam's breathing start to slow and sync with his own, it was a while longer before his heart beat slowed. Adam sat helplessly in Tommy's arms, tears now flowing freely down his face.

Tommy pressed his cheek against Adam's letting the coolness of his skin sink into the other man's burning tear slicked skin. Slowly Adam's hand reached up and tangled in Tommy's hair, not letting him pull away.

"Adam, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?" Tommy asked softly. He felt Adam nod, his cheek sliding against Tommy's. "Your having a panic attack. It seems to be passing over but I need you to let me get you to bed."

Adam nodded again, reluctantly letting go of Tommy's hair and letting the other man shift and slip an arm under his legs. Adam cried out and clung to Tommy as he was lifted off the ground. Tommy carried him easily to the bed room where he sat him down on the edge of the bed before pulling off Adam's t-shirt.

Tommy attempted to make sure that there wasn't any clothing that would feel restrictive before he went to wet a few washcloths with cool water. When he came back into the bedroom Adam had laid back on the bed, his breath still coming a bit to rough for Tommy's liking and a bright red flush had broke out across his face and torso.

Tommy's chest felt tight as he helped the smaller man fully on the bed before wiping his face with a cool cloth. Adam sighed unconsciously leaning into the touch as Tommy tried to cool down his flushed face. When he was done he draped another cool cloth over Adam's chest.

Tommy sat next to the other man until his eyes drifted shut. Once Adam was asleep he tucked him into bed, pulling him close against his chest. Tommy staid up that night watching over Adam.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Tommy finally let himself fall asleep as the morning light started to filter through the windows. When he let his eyes fall closed Adam was still sleeping, a small wet spot appearing on the pillow next to his open mouth.

He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, but he was suddenly woke by a large crashing noise. Tommy was instantly on his feet, moving out of the now empty bedroom towards the noise before his eyes had even fully cleared.

He stopped in the living room when he heard another crash. Quickly he moved towards the kitchen where he found Adam, still wearing just his sweats from the night before,clutching a heavy glass with pieces of broken flatware scattered across the floor.

Tommy knew the moment Adam noticed his presence because the heavy glass shattered against the wall to his left.

"Fuck!" Adam yelled at nothing in particular.

Tommy stood in shock for a moment, he'd seen Adam cry, seen him get pissed off at the automated self checkout machine, but he'd never seen him like this. Adam's eyes were wild, his face red, and his hands were shaking as he reached for another plate that soon found it's doom in the floor at Tommy's feet.

"Adam, I need you to calm down and tell me what's going on." Tommy kept his voice low as he stepped towards Adam, hands raised, and tried to avoid stepping on glass.

"Get away from me." Adam spat reaching for another glass. Tommy stopped in his tracks, his eyes traveling over the smaller man.

"Adam.."

"Don't just fucking.." Adam took a heaving breath and sat the glass down. "You know what? Fuck you. I'm not a fucking child. You come here and treat me like I'm .."

"Like what?" Tommy asked, still taken aback by Adam's seemingly random rage. When Adam didn't answer right away Tommy edged closer. He had a good idea what was going on and figured this was a extension on last nights panic attack but he didn't want Adam to hurt himself, so he continued to work his way across the glass scattered floor.

Adam stayed silent, Tommy knew that his anger wasn't at him but as soon as he came into the room he had become a convenient target. Adam was shaking when Tommy touched him gently on his shoulder.

Adam burst into motion, pushing Tommy away and storming out of the kitchen in a flurry of curses. Tommy barley stumbled before turning to tiptoe after Adam who, by the lack of blood on the floor, must have had house shoes on. It was something Tommy was thankful about but didn't give it much thought as he followed the barrage of angry words back to the bedroom.

He found Adam throwing on cloths muttering how he had to get out of there.

"Adam, where are you going?"

Adam glared at him as he pulled on his heavy coat. "Away from you." He spat before forcing his way past Tommy.

Tommy worried his bottom lip but let the other man go. After a moment he heard the front door slam and Tommy leaned against the door frame, cursing under his breath. He knew he shouldn't let Adam's words get to him but they still stung. Tommy knocked his head against the door frame and took a deep breath. He looked around the bedroom and found his phone hooked into the charger.

Thankfully Adam's charger was empty, apparently he had taken his phone with him. Tommy grabbed his phone and checked the time before stuffed it in his pocket. It was almost one in the afternoon. For a second he was surprised he was able to sleep as late as that. He rummaged around until he found his bag and dug deep into the side pockets until he found the pack of cigarettes he had stashed there. He hadn't smoked more than a few times in the last 6 months but the craving was sneaking up on him now. He checked that he still had a lighter in the pack and slipped his shoes on before heading through the wrecked kitchen to sit on the back steps.

With a heavy sigh Tommy lit up an took a deep drag, letting the nicotine work it's way into his blood stream. He knew Adam was OK and was most likely headed to his friend Kyle's house but he still worried. His nerves were ragged as well and he took a moment to close his eyes and take a few slow drags. Skeletor quietly ventured out from where ever he'd been hiding and begged a head rub from Tommy before exploring the backyard.

After a few minutes he crushed the butt and tossed it into the yard before turning back into the house. He pulled the trash can out and squat down slowly starting to toss the larger shards into the trash. Tommy paused for a moment and sighed wiping his face. After a moment he sniffed and set back to work. He'd be damned if Adam was going to come back to a wrecked house.

Adam wasn't sure where he was going but he had to get away. He had woke that morning just _angry. _He felt bad for taking it out on Tommy. He felt really bad.

Adam took a few deep breaths as he walked along the sidewalk. The cold air wrapped around him and he felt calmer. It wasn't long before he found himself at a bus stop. Adam pulled out his phone and sent a text to Kyle, telling him he was coming over.

When the bus rattled to a stop in front of him it took a few tries to get his foot up on the step. He settled into the seat closest to the door an stared out the window. Tomorrow was the big day. He already had his plans set.

Kyle was supposed to take him to meet his family at the hospital and Tommy was going to stay at the house and watch his dog. He promised he'd have someone text him once he was safely out of surgery. He knew Tommy wasn't happy about his plans but it was the best he could offer at the moment.

After what felt like a life time; he saw his stop and moved to stand as the bus crawled to a stop. He stepped out onto the sidewalk about two blocks from Kyle's apartment. Adam set off walking at a much slower pace as the adrenaline started to wear off and his pain started to seep back. He still hadn't figured out why he woke up angry but he was glad it was starting to fade.

He let Kyle tried to convince him to go to a bar. After several hours and a few hits from Kyle's bong, Adam compromised and rode with Kyle while he bought beer and they ended up sitting on a park bench down by the bay.

They talked about everything from what was going on at work to old girlfriends. What Kyle said about his past loves really struck a cord with him and for a moment he wondered what a relationship with someone like Tommy would be like. Would Kyle accept him dating a guy? Would his mom? How would he even explain how they met?

The thoughts scared him so he pushed them away. The tightness in his chest that he had felt the night before started to creep back up. He was shocked to find out it was midnight and tried to get Kyle to take him home.

Of course he wanted to go get laid. Adam took a deep breath feeling the spark of anger flairing deep in his belly. Kyle was drunk so Adam asked for the keys. He wanted to drive. He wanted to be in control for once. It felt like all these last few months his life had been completely out of his control.

Adam barley heard Kyle's muttering as he got in the drivers seat. He sat his jaw and put the keys in the ignition.

Now he was going to take back the fucking control of his life.

Adam shoved the car into reverse and slammed down the gas. He felt it when he hit the bike rack but he couldn't care less. Distantly he heard Kyle's fearful cursing but he ignored it; throwing the car into drive and squealing the tires and he drove out of the parking lot. He felt a strange sort of glee as he turned the wrong way on a one way street.

Maybe he'll get hit. At least if he died in a accident he-

Adam was shocked out of his thoughts when Kyle yanked the parking break causing the jeep to skid to a stop. Adam looked over at the other man and blanched, realizing that he could have not only killed himself, but also his best friend.

"Get out of the car." Adam demanded.

Kyle sputtered, his eyes wide before Adam yelled at him again to get out of the car. Finally Kyle slipped out the door looking frustrated and confused.

Adam felt like his skin was too tight. His chest was heaving but he wasn't getting enough breath. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, the pain brought a sliver of clarity to his mind but it didn't last. So he did it again. And again. Finally Adam sucked in an deep breath and screamed. He felt the force of it ripping out of his body, all the anger, fear, uncertainty, all of it pouring out in one long wail.

He screamed until he felt light headed. He let his head drop bonelessly to the steering wheel, suddenly feeling drained. His throat hurt, but not as much as his heart. He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to hear Tommy's voice and before he could think he had his phone out.

Distantly he heard Kyle yelling something through the door and he spat a half ass insult at his as the phone started to ring.

"Adam, are you OK?" Tommy answered after the first right, he sounded worried.

"I think I'm having a nervous break down, and I might have just fractured my larynx." Adam cleared his throat trying to rid his voice of the gravely scratch but failed. "God I'm so sick of all this shit... I just want it to be over with."

"Adam,.. I can't tell you it's all over with. It might be. But it might not. Right now you need to pull yourself together and come home." Tommy sounded as tired as he felt. Adam suddenly felt bad thinking about how little sleep Tommy must be running on.

"If I make it through this I want you to go on a date with me." Adam whispered, even that scratching painfully at his throat.

Tommy chuckled on the other end of the line, a deep comforting sound. "First worry about getting back home, we'll talk about making it official when your in a better mental state."

Adam smiled and wiped away the tears that were sneaking up in the corner of his eyes. "Your right, as always, now really isn't a good time. But I really think we'd be good together."

"We already are. Now, I'm tired and I'm waiting. Come home." Tommy disconnected the line and Adam sighed. He looked over to see Kyle staring in the window with a completely perplexed expression on his face.

Adam leaned over and pushed the door open for his friend. He knew Kyle meant well, and that was confirmed after he dropped his intoxicated friend on his couch and found the book in his bathroom. Adam flipped through the pages and the book was all about how to help your friend with cancer.. Kyle had tried most everything in the book.

He left Kyle's car and jumped on the next bus heading his direction. He felt numb as he walked the few blocks to the front steps of his house. The lights were off everywhere but the living room and the light was spilling out onto the front steps where he saw Tommy's outline in the dark. There was a bright red ember burning and a tendril of smoke floating around him.

"I didn't know you smoked?" Adam asked coming to stand in front of the other man.

"I thought I had quit. But I guess you never really give it up." Tommy snubbed out the ember and stood, offering Adam his hand.

Tommy guided him inside and towards his bedroom where he had set out Adam's duffel bag. Adam smiled weakly and help Tommy pack him a few changes of cloths.

Adam set the bag on the floor near his bedroom door and slowly stripped out of his cloths. Tommy watched him as he removed everything but his boxer briefs and he quickly followed suit. Before Adam could crawl into bed; Tommy wrapped his arms around his waist and brushed his lips against Adam's.

Tommy silently guided him into bed where he spooned up behind him. If he was holding the man a bit tighter than normal Adam would never tell. Adam rested his head on Tommy's muscular shoulder and let himself drift off for a few hours of blissful rest.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It was barely three hours later when Adam was startled out of sleep by his alarm. The moment he was awake fear clenched in his chest. Today was the day.

Tommy stirred against his back and pulled him into a tight embrace. Adam smiled softly and let himself just enjoy it for a moment. Adam knew he couldn't stay there long and after a moment he patted Tommy's hand and started to pull away. Tommy grumbled but let him go.

Adam swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stood to make his way to the shower. The house was dark, the sun wasn't even up yet, and it made Adam just want to curl back into his warm place and go back to sleep.

When he stepped into the shower he took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension in his chest. He wouldn't admit it to Tommy but he was scared shitless right now. His hands shook as he started cleaning himself.

He jumped a little at the sound of the shower door opening, but calmed when he saw Tommy climbing in with him.

"'Morning." Tommy mumbled slipping into the spray with Adam, his hands sliding along the smaller man's sides. Adam sighed and leaned against Tommy's chest.

"I want to be with you today. I know why I can't go, I totally understand, but I want to be there."

Tommy tucked his chin against Adam's neck and hugged him close.

"I know. After this is all said and done and we decide what we're going to do I'll tell them all about you. No more hiding. Now just isn't the time." secretly Adam really didn't want them to know about Tommy so that their world would stay their own, even though he knew that wasn't actually possible.

They showered together in a comfortable silence. Adam knew Tommy could sense his nerves and let him be as he went about his morning routine. It was almost 6 when he picked up his bag and came to sit in the living room. Kyle would be there to pick him up in just a few moments.

The couch sagged as Tommy sat down next to him, their legs pressed together from knee to hip. Adam leaned over and rested his head on Tommy's broad shoulder. Adam swallowed hard trying to choke down the lump in his throat. When Tommy lifted his chin and brushed his lips against his, Adam cracked. A broken whimper tore from his throat and tears started flowing down his cheek.

"I'm so scared." Adam whispered.

"I know. I am too." Tommy squeezed his hand and kissed him again. Tommy swallowed and sniffed as he looked out the window. "Your friend just pulled up. Let me know how you are doing as soon as you can."

"OK... OK..."Adam nodded and stood. He moved towards the door and felt his heart twist. When he turned and looked back at Tommy he could see the other man's gray eyes were red rimmed with tears even though he was trying to hide it. Adam cursed under his breath and quickly rushed over to Tommy and kissed him hard.

"I'm going to make it." Adam whispered against Tommy's lips, their foreheads pressed together. When he heard Kyle honk outside he stood and collected himself. With a quick nod Adam steeled himself and shouldered his bag before stepping out the door.

He bit his lip as he walked to Kyle's waiting car. They rode to the hospital in near silence. When they pulled up outside Adam paused while grabbing his bag,

"Hey man.. would you do me a favor?" He asked.

"Sure."

"When I come out of surgery I need you to text this number for me." Adam said pulling out a pen and writing Tommy's number on a scrap of paper.

"Who's this? The person you've been texting?" Kyle asked looking at the piece of paper.

"Yeah. Just let them know what happens. Either way this goes they will be waiting to know." Adam shifted uncomfortably under Kyle's assessing gaze.

"You're not going to tell me who this is are you?"

"Not yet. If... when I get through this I'll tell you all about them. Right now I need you to let them know when I come out."

"Sure thing." Kyle replied giving him a weak smile.

"Thanks man.. you've been a really awesome friend." He gave his friend a tight hug before he got out of the car, hoping that it wouldn't be the last time he saw him.

When he met up with his parents he tried to stay strong and not show how scared he was. He finally cracked when he was being wheeled out to the surgery suite. He cried and held onto his mother like a child. When she told him he was going to be OK it was the only time those words had brought him any comfort.

Once he was rolled away from her he felt the first tickles of the anesthesia soon he was loopy, his vision going blurry. He didn't want to close his eyes as he watched the second dose go into his IV. Adam felt a heavy pull and for a split second he was afraid he wouldn't wake up if he let himself sleep. He fought the drugs as long as he could but seconds later his eyes drifted shut and he let the darkness take him.

Tommy paced the house for what seemed like the thousandth time. He didn't want to admit it but he was extremely worried. Right at that moment he wanted nothing more but to be right there with Adam. He wasn't exactly sure when his feelings had gotten that deeply involved but right then wasn't the time for introspection.

After yet another circuit of the house Tommy cursed and stopped dead in the living room. He had a sudden realization that he in fact could be there. It wasn't like his family knew what he looked like.

Tommy grinned to himself as he grabbed his jacket and rushed out the door. He knew Adam was probably in surgery now and that he'd be under for quite a while but that didn't stop him from nearly running red lights to get to the hospital faster.

After a solid 20 minutes spent looking for a parking spot Tommy found his way to the main reception desk to find out which waiting room he needed to be in.

The hospital was huge. It was only 8 am and the place was packed. He stopped in the cafeteria and got a breakfast sandwich which he wolfed down as he entered the surgery waiting area. Thankfully there seemed to be enough people inside that he wouldn't be noticed.

He instantly recognized the elegant woman sitting in the middle of the room as Adam's mom. Even if he hadn't seen the pictures scattered around the house there was something about her that reminded him of Adam. It looked like Adam's dad and his friend Kyle were all there. Tommy walked over and took a seat in the corner of the room. He knew Adam's surgery was supposed to last at least 4 to 5 hours and it had only been a little over two hours sense he had left the house.

Tommy pulled out his phone and busied himself with figuring out all the new apps Brendan and Adam had added to his phone. He got distracted by Angry Birds for a good hour at least. When time started to drag he sent a message to Colt.

The friendly conversation was helping but he still felt worry curled in his gut. He shuffled through the magazines on the table not really reading any of them but trying to keep his mind in check as images of Adam hooked up to tubes flashed through his mind. Adam's family was getting nervous too.

Tommy raised and eyebrow when a thin, pretty young woman came in and started talking with Adam's family. Apparently she was his therapist. The fact that she had to take off work to be there made Tommy grin. He wasn't the only one to find Adam interesting apparently.

After what felt like and eternity a thin Asian woman in scrubs came into the waiting room and called for Adam's family. Tommy held his breath as he waited to hear news on Adam. He couldn't hear everything the doctor was saying but what he did hear was worrisome. Something about bone erosion and having to remove part of muscles. But then he heard what he was waiting to hear.

Adam was going to be alright.

Tommy closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding and he let a grin spread across his lips. He watched as Adam's mom and dad were lead out of the waiting room. Kyle staid behind for a moment. Tommy stood and started to leave the waiting room, planning on heading to the cafeteria to find some lunch when his phone pinged in his pocket.

He stopped in the door way and pulled out his phone. He didn't recognize the number that had sent him a text but he opened it anyways.

'Adam asked me to text you and tell you when he came out of surgery. He's out now and he's in recovery.'

Tommy glanced over his shoulder to find Kyle watching him with a confused look on his face. Tommy cleared his throat and walked out of the waiting room. He hoped Kyle would chalk that up as a coincidence.

After eating a sub par lunch Tommy wondered around the hospital grounds. When he thought it had been long enough for Adam to be moved from recovery to an actual room. He went back to the information desk and got the room number.

I took him a while to find the correct hall way. He really hated hospitals with all their sterile walls and shining tiles. He leaned his ear against Adam's door and listened to see if anyone was in there. He was relieved when he didn't hear any voices.

Tommy poked his head inside and saw Adam laying bleary eyed in the hospital bed. Tommy felt the tension in his shoulder melt away as he knocked on the door and came into the room. Adam's face lit up when he saw him.

"It's you!" Adam cried, he was obviously floating on a morphine cloud but Tommy couldn't help meeting his smile.

"Yea it's me. How do you feel?"

"Awesome. We could solve all the worlds problems if we just put everyone on a morphine drip." Adam's words were a little slurred as he spoke. "I made my mom take dad home. I knew you'd be here soon. I don't know where Kyle went to.. I checked out there for a bit."

"I think you're allowed to check out when you've been through what you've been through today."

Adam's eyes fell shut and for a moment Tommy thought he had fallen asleep. When he reached up and brushed his fingers over the back of Adam's hand the other man smiled.

"I'm gonna make you pancakes." Adam mutter.

"Oh really?" Tommy asked fighting back a chuckle.

"Yea. You're gonna like it." Adam cracked open one eye and gave Tommy a lopsided smile. "I'm peeing right now."

Tommy felt the laughter rumble from his chest and he had to sit in the near by chair. "Good to know."

Adam winked at him and reached for his hand. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too." Tommy squeezed his fingers and watched as Adam fought nodding off.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I'll tell the nurses to stall my parents if they show up."

Tommy chuckled again and lifted Adam's hand to his lips, brushing his lips across his knuckles. "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

"Good." Adam mummured.

Tommy watched as Adam nodded off. He stretched out in the chair and settled in for a long stretch of sitting when he noticed the door standing slightly ajar. He could have sworn he had shut it when he came in but he shrugged it off. Right now he had Adam to worry about. Not faulty door latches.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Adam was in the Hospital for 6 days. Tommy came and stayed as much as he possibly could and still avoid his family and friends. He would come and tell him how Skeletor would wonder around the house looking for him before deeming Tommy acceptable and laying down with him.

Tommy went to the grocery store while Adam's mom brought him home. Adam did his best to get her to leave without being rude. He was walking short distances with a walker, he could take care of himself.

Finally after two grueling hours of mother henning, he got her to leave. He sent Tommy a text and very slowly laid on his side and pulled his legs up on the couch. His mother had insisted that he take more pain meds and he felt them starting to kick in.

Adam was jerked out of his nap when Tommy came in carrying an arm full of bags.

"Welcome home." He said with a small smile.

"Feels great man. Well that could be the pain meds talking."

Tommy chuckled and took the bags to the kitchen, after a few minutes of banging around Adam heard the clicking of the gas range.

"Oh my god real food! You are awesome!" Adam called.

They ate dinner on the couch. Well Adam ate reclining carefully on the couch with his feet on Tommy's lap.

Tommy put him to bed shortly after dinner with a fresh bandage change. It was still early but Adam found himself out cold in a matter of minutes, happy to be in his own bed.

Adam started physical therapy two days later. Kyle came to pick him up around 1 pm and helped him into his jeep.

When they got to the PT office it took him a good 10 minutes just to get in the front door. He was exhausted and in pain by the time he got sat down on the leather covered table.

The tech did a full consult on him and Kyle sat quietly by his side. When they were finished they had Adam lay on his stomach and attached a e-stem system to his back and left it to do it's work.

Kyle looked around uncomfortably before rolling his stool closer.

"Look man I have to ask you something... Who was that guy visiting you in the hospital? And don't try to lie to me, I saw him in the room with you."

Adam's heart stopped for a moment and he did his best not to show his fear on his face. "uh.. he's a friend of mine."

"The friend you've been texting non-stop for the last few months?" Kyle asked.

Adam chewed his lip before nodding.

"Are you guys..." Kyle leaned in and lowered his voice. "sleeping together?"

Adam thought his heart had stopped before, now he was sure it had frozen in his chest. "I don't see how it's any of your business who or what I'm doing."

"Adam.. are you telling me you fucking a guy?! Dude! That's fucking gross man." Adam quickly looked around when Kyle's voice started to climb in volume.

"Keep you voice down you asshole!" Adam hissed.

"Dude this is not cool. Why wouldn't you tell me something like this?" Kyle looked a little hurt and confused.

"Because I knew you'd react like this! I'm not gay Kyle.."

"You're sleeping with a fucking bear of a man.. I think that makes you gay."

Adam couldn't stop the flame of red hot anger in his chest and he pushed himself up on the table and grabbed Kyle by the collar of his jacket.

"Say what you want about me Kyle. It really shows how much of a friend you are. But you don't know Tommy and I won't let you bad mouth him."

Kyle shut his mouth and Adam laid back down on the table. It was a long time before either of them spoke again. The tech had come back by and set up bi weekly appointments for Adam and they were getting ready to leave when Kyle spoke.

"Look man; I was out of line. I'm sorry. It's just kind of a shock.. you with a guy and all."

"It's cool. I don't really understand it either. I'm not attracted to men. Tommy's just.. different." Adam let Kyle help him into the jeep. He winced as his stitches pulled.

"When did you meet him?" Kyle asked, climbing into the drivers seat.

"The night I found out I had cancer. I went out and got drunk. He almost beat me up." Adam muttered looking out the window.

Kyle rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "This is a lot to take in. Do I get to meet him?"

"I don't know. I was going to find a way to ease everyone into meeting him once we figured out where our relationship was going. Things have been to messed up to even think about it."

They both went silent as they pulled up outside Adam's house.

"Are we cool?" Adam asked.

"Yeah man, we're cool." Kyle muttered clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"Tommy it's been over a month. I need you back here training. You have fights lined up all summer." Colt's voice sounded annoyed as it filtered through the speaker on the phone.

"I know Colt. I'm just not ready to leave yet."

"I need you here next week. Or else. You know I hate to threaten you but you have a career to worry about. One canceled fight is one thing but if we have to cancel another we could be in deep shit."

Tommy sighed knowing that Colt was right. "OK.. book me a ticket for this week. Late this week. Give me as much time as you can."

"I'm sorry Tommy. I know this friend of yours must be important, but we have to do what we have to do."

"I know." Tommy said his goodbyes and closed the call. He glanced over at Adam who was stretched out on the couch napping fitfully. They were weaning him off the pain killers and the pain was enough that he was having trouble sleeping. Thankfully they weren't completely pulling him off the meds only decreasing his dose, but it still worried Tommy.

He made his way into the living room and moved Adam's feet so he could sit down and leaned over, planting a gentle kiss on the corner of Adam's mouth.

Adam grinned a turned his head, kissing Tommy back.

"I gotta talk to you." Tommy whispered.

"What's going on?" Adam asked pulling himself up a little.

"I have to go home later this week." Tommy whispered working himself into the space between Adam and the back of the couch. Adam looked disappointed but was trying to hide it.

"Oh... when?"

"I'm not sure yet. Colt is booking the ticket."

"So... what are we going to do once you leave?" Adam asked leaning his head on Tommy's shoulder. "Are we.. dating? Or what?"

"I don't know. Do you want to be dating me?" Tommy brushed his nose against Adam's ear.

"I.. yeah I do."

"Then we'll work something out."

"We could use Skype? Do you have a Laptop?" Adam looked hopeful and Tommy couldn't stop himself from kissing him again.

"I don't. But I'll get one."

Adam giggled and shoved playfully at Tommy's shoulder. "You need to stop. I'm in no shape to take care of the wood you're causing."

Tommy huffed out a laugh and brushed his lips against Adam's throat just to feel the smaller man shiver.

"Do I call you my boyfriend now?" Adam asked.

"I guess so." Tommy shrugged.

"Wow. This is really weird. This time last year I would have never thought I'd end up dating a guy."

"Stranger things have happened."

"That is true. What are the chances of a 27 year old man getting spinal cancer?" Adam reached for Tommy's hand and tangled his fingers in his.

"I wish you didn't have to go through all this.. but if you hadn't we would have never met."

"And you know what? I'd almost say it was worth it. Almost. This is kinda shitty. And I can't even get a handy right now."

Tommy chuckled and grabbed the remote with his non occupied hand and turned the volume down. He let out a content sigh as he laid his head next to Adam's.

"When you visit again.. or when I come visit you, I'm going to make all this up to you. You've been so much better to me than I deserve."

"Hush." Tommy mutter and Adam did.

Adam leaned against the door frame as Tommy shoved his cloths in his bag. "This really sucks." Adam muttered.

Tommy took a deep breath before turning and lifting the bag on his shoulder. He had to leave soon so he could return the rental car and still make it to the airport on time. Adam was still leaning against the frame blocking the doorway with his crutches. He looked sad and Tommy wanted to drop everything and stay but he knew that he couldn't.

"I'll call you as soon as I land OK?" Tommy took Adam's face in his hands and kissed him. After a moment the kiss became more heated and Adam's fingers found their way into Tommy's hair. Tommy finally pulled away and looked Adam in the eye. "This isn't the end."

"I know. I've just gotten used to you being here. It's going to be too quite when you're gone. Skeletor's going to get lonely." Tommy could have sworn that Adam was actually pouting.

Tommy leaned in and kissed him again. "I have to go." When Adam hobbled out of the way on his crutches Tommy moved by.

"Tommy..." He turned and looked at Adam who was slowly making his way to the living room.

"Yeah?"

"I think I might be in love with you. So if you disappear on me I'll be forced to hunt you down and strangle you in your sleep."

Tommy froze for a second and let that information sink in before rushing across the room and kissing Adam until he feared the smaller man's legs might give out.

"I'll call you when I land" Tommy whispered before letting Adam go and nodding before walking out the door.


	16. Epilogue

"Oh man! That is one hell of a shiner! I can't believe someone who gets beat on for a living gets a fucking black eye from a 8 year old." Adam shook his head as he watched Tommy over the laptop screen as he rubbed an hand over his hair self-consciously.

"She was just a little over zealous with the sippy straw. She really wanted me to try her Kool-aid." Tommy grinned and quickly changed the subject away from his embarrassing black eye. "Your appointment is tomorrow right?"

"Yeah at 8am. I'm so nervous. They poked me and scanned me within an inch of my life I swear."

"Well I'll be training all day tomorrow. Drop me a message though letting me know what he says."

"Will do." Adam smiled as they said their goodbye, before he let the Skype window close. With a sigh he pulled open his email. Still nothing. He had been waiting a week for a response from the documentary crew he had found on kick-starter a month ago. He closed his email with a sigh and set the laptop to the side. Skeletor immediately jumped up next to him as he snuggled down in the bed. He smiled and scratched him behind the ears. He hoped to get good news tomorrow.

"Well Mr. Lerner it appears your surgery was successful. Our tests show no signs of cancer."

Adam let out a breath that he felt like he'd been holding for the last year. Relief flowed through him from the top of his head to his toes. He felt glued to the seat as the doctor continued to rattle on.

He nearly skipped out of the doctors office, his next appointment a year away, a bright smile spreading across his face. As soon as he was on the street he called his mother, who was ecstatic and insisted that he come by for dinner which Adam polity turned down; he had a plane ticket to book and he needed to pack quick if he wanted to be in Pittsburgh before Tommy got out of the gym for the day.

Adam tried to mentally speed the bus up as he anxiously tapped his foot. Each stop bringing him closer to his house seemed to come slower than the one before. Finally he made it to his stop and rushed the final blocks and ran up his front steps.

Once inside he clamored for his laptop and loaded up the first travel sight he could think of. Price wasn't a problem as long as he could get to Pittsburgh as fast as possible. Soon he was throwing cloths in a bag as his confirmation printed, he could straighten them out later. He called Kyle and asked him to check in on Skeletor and he was off.

Within 30 minutes Adam was in a taxi headed for the airport. He just hoped Tommy didn't make a surprise visit to his brothers and not be at home when he got there.

Eight hours later Adam climbed in yet another cab and gave them Tommy's address. The sun was almost completely set before he pulled up outside a decent looking duplex settled in the middle of a nice lower middle-class street. The lights were on in the living room, Adam noticed as he pulled his bag out of the trunk. He paid the cabby and walked up the few steps that lead to a tiny patio decorated with two mismatched chairs.

Adam didn't know why he was so nervous. It wasn't like Tommy was going to throw him out, even if he was showing up unannounced at an apartment he'd never been to, his palms were still sweaty as he rang the doorbell. After a moment there was the sound of movement behind the door, Tommy was probably looking through the peephole that Adam was staring at nervously, and seconds later the door was pulled open and a surprised and slightly worried Tommy was looking him over.

"Please tell me you came all this way for good news not bad." He said looking Adam over like the answer to his question was somewhere on his being.

"Very good news." Adam said, a huge grin pulling at his cheeks. "They found nothing. I'm clear."

Tommy hooted and pulled in into his arms, dragging the smaller man and his bag inside. Adam chuckled and wrapped his arms around Tommy, letting himself be swept inside. Adam bumped his forehead into Tommy's making them both giggle, before finding the other man's lips. Tommy growled as he met Adam's kiss ferociously, ripping the bag off his shoulder and tossing it away, before Adam was shoved roughly against the door.

Adam moaned against Tommy's mouth as he felt the other man's hands tearing at the fly of his jeans, his own hands tangling in Tommy's t-shirt. He gasped and his jeans and underwear were yanked down, freeing his already half staff erection. Adam's shivered as Tommy wrapped a tight fist around him quickly making him rock hard.

Tommy grinned as he captured Adam's lip between his teeth. Adam gasped, thrusting himself into Tommy's hand, already starting to leaking. His head was buzzing as Tommy sped up his strokes, obviously not wanting to drag this out.

"The things I want to do to you.." Tommy whispered against his ear, his own growing erection pressing against Adam's hip.

Adam stuttered, his mind already past forming words, all he could do was cling to Tommy's shoulders and helplessly thrust into his hands. He was embarrassingly close already and Tommy's lips dragging against the column of his throat was not helping.

"Tommy..." Adam choked out and Tommy shushed him gently.

"You gonna come?" He asked with a crooked grin. Adam nodded frantically, his heart pounding in his chest, every nerve in his body felt like they were on fire.

Tommy hummed, a deep noise deep in his chest, and twisted his fingers around Adam's sensitive glands.

"I want to fuck you so bad." Tommy whispered, his voice shaking a little. The image of himself spread open on Tommy's cock did him in.

Adam felt his orgasm crash through him and he cried out harshly as he spilled over Tommy's hands. A few pearly drops landing high on his shirt. His whole body trembling as Tommy's squeezed every last drop from him.

When he collapsed against the door, panting harshly, he looked into Tommy's eyes, the blue gray almost eaten up by his blown pupils. Adam bit his lip as he grinned at the other man. He pushed Tommy back enough for him to lower himself to his knees in what he hoped was a graceful movement even with his pants around his knees, and looked back up at him. Tommy raised an eyebrow curiously but seemed to catch on as Adam ran his lips over his tented shorts.

Adam's hands shook as he pulled the band of Tommy's shorts down, finding that the other man wasn't wearing any underwear. Adam felt his heart beat speed back up as he brushed his lips along Tommy's length. He hadn't done this yet and wasn't completely prepared for the musky sent that was all Tommy only stronger. It wasn't completely unpleasant but it took a moment for him to get used to it.

Tommy braced his arms against the door and watched as Adam slid his tongue around his glands, tasting the salty tang of his skin. Adam braced himself and wrapped his lips around Tommy's quickly hardening shaft and did his best to do what he knew he himself like.

Tommy moaned deep in his chest, his eyes locked with Adam's as he rested his head against his arms. Adam grinned as he took more of Tommy in his mouth, bringing his hand up to work what he couldn't fit.

Breathing through his nose Adam swirled his tongue over the head as he bobbed his head. Before long Adam could feel the tremors in Tommy's thighs and he gave himself a mental pat on the back.

After a while his jaw started to get tired but he pushed through, stroking Tommy tightly with his fist and sucking on his glands. Tommy started to thrust himself into Adam's fist and Adam let him thrust shallowly into his mouth.

"Oh shit, Adam.." Tommy groaned in warning.

Adam pulled back, not yet ready to think about swallowing another man's come, and sped up his hand. Tommy shuddered and gasped, spilling over Adam's hand, a stray sticky, string landing on his lips.

"Sorry." Tommy said with a breathless chuckle, swiping the sticky fluid with his thumb.

Adam grinned as he sucked Tommy's thumb into his mouth. He was surprised that the taste wasn't that bad, salty, almost like if Tommy's smell had a taste. Tommy leaned down and licked into Adam's mouth, chasing his own taste with his tongue.

"Well,.. would you like to come in?" Tommy asked, holding a straight face just long enough for Adam to crack up first. Tommy helped pull Adam to his feet and they both awkwardly righted their clothes. When they were both decent and less shaky, Tommy lead Adam around on "the tour".

Adam raised a brow, a little surprised at how nice the two bedroom space was. It needed some furniture but the space was spacious and well built. Afterwards Tommy ordered in a pizza and they curled up on the couch watching crappy night time tv.

"How long are you staying?" Tommy asked brushing the tip of his nose behind Adam's ear.

Adam grinned, shying away, apparently ticklish. "A week? Maybe more. Depends on if the radio station needs me. Working part time has been nice though. I hardly have to go in. I can do most of my work from my laptop."

Adam chewed his lip as he fought up the courage to ask the question that had been burning in his mind since Tommy had whispered in his ear hours before.

"Tommy.. did you mean it?" Adam whispered, staring pointedly at the TV.

"Mean what?" Tommy asked absently, his hand grazing a ticklish spot on Adam's side.

"That you want to.. you know.." Adam felt heat spread across his face and knew that he had to be bright red.

"Do what? Fuck you?" Tommy teased, his lips pulling into a lopsided grin. "Yeah I do." He answered slowly, his lips ghosting against Adam's chin.

Adam shivered and nudged Tommy's chin with his shoulder. "Have you done it before?"

"No." Tommy answered simply as he worked his chin back into place on Adam's shoulder. "I know what to do if that's what you're wondering."

Adam shrugged. "I think I want that too."

"Really?" Tommy asked pulled back enough to meet his eye. "You don't have to. We're fine with what we've been doing. Don't feel like I'm pushing you."

Adam couldn't stop the smile before it was spreading across his face. "I've been thinking about it for a long time actually." Adam watched the glimmer in Tommy's eye as he was laid slowly back on the couch.

"Oh really?" Tommy teased. "Do tell."

Adam chuckled and pulled Tommy down against him. "Later. Right now I want your mouth on me."

"Yes sir."

"Adam.. calm down you look like a school boy." Tommy hiss elbowing Adam in the ribs.

"Sorry.. I haven't done this in a long time.. it's kinda awkward isn't it?" Adam muttered staring at the rows of small boxes as he nervously shifted from foot to foot.

"You and what's her name didn't use condoms?" Tommy asked a little louder than Adam liked.

"That was almost a year ago asshole." Adam hissed.

"Well what about these?" Tommy asked, holding up a package of magnums.

Adam bit back a laugh and rolled his eyes. "You're big Tommy, but not THAT big. I stretched a regular one over my fist. If that doesn't fit you're not going anywhere near my ass." Adam stated when he heard the sound of a throat being cleared near by and looked up to see a older lady staring at them with disapproval as she carried her depends away with a huff. Adam grimaced and turned back to the brightly colored boxes, pinching Tommy's arm when he started chuckling.

"Hey these are ribbed.." Tommy suggested but quickly put the box back as Adam sent him a withering glare. "OK OK.. at least let me get the color pack.."

Adam groaned and buried his face in Tommy's shoulder. "Just get whatever.. I just need out of here."

Tommy chuckled and picked up a small box advertising different colors. "Now for some lube." He muttered moving to Adam's other side to look over the small row of bottles. "Hey.. this one heats up.."

"I don't want my asshole burning.. are you seriously telling me you don't have any lube?"

Tommy shook his head and looked innocently at Adam. "I use good ole' jergens thank you. But that isn't going to be enough for what I have planned for you." He said with a growl.

Adam felt weak in the knees and quickly started picking up random bottles and reading the labels. After a few moments he settled on one that seemed like it'd work an held it up for Tommy's approval. Tommy nodded and took the small bottle of gel and started walking to the front of the store.

Once again Adam kicked himself for insisting on going to Walgreens at this time of night but he couldn't wait any longer. It had been two days sense they had talked about it and Adam wasn't going to let himself stall anymore. He had ushered Tommy to the corner store insisting that if they were going to do this they were going to do it safely.

Adam hovered nervously next to Tommy as he stood at the checkout. The young woman looked at the two items and grinned at them. Tommy gave her a wink as he handed over his cash and she wished them good luck when she handed them their bag.

Adam's face burned as they walked the few blocks back to Tommy's apartment. Tommy seemed surprisingly unphased. When they reached Tommy's porch they both collapsed into uncontrollable giggling as they stumbled through the door.

"Are we seriously going to do this?" Adam asked as Tommy ushered him towards the bedroom. Tommy kissed him harshly sucking in his bottom lip.

"Oh we are doing this right now." Tommy muttered, his voice huskier than it was a few moments before. Adam let out a shocked gasp as he was lifted and tossed onto the unmade bed. Adam watched, slack jawed, as Tommy tossed the plastic bag next to him and crawled up the bed until he was hovering over him.

Adam felt his gut twist as Tommy started pulling his shirt over his head. This was really going to happen. His heart started to race and he found himself desperately pulling at Tommy's cloths trying to get him naked as quickly as possible.

Tommy chuckled and help Adam get him down to his boxers but then stopped him with heavy hands on his wrists. "Slow down babe, we're going to be here all night."

Half of Adam wanted to slap that smirk off Tommy's face, but he fought back the urge and let Tommy pin his wrists above his head, taking his revenge in the form of a hard bite into Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy let out a low groan as Adam's teeth released him. "So we're playing that way?" He asked with a chuckle. Tommy smirked as he switched both of Adam's wrists in one hand as he reached for Adam's belt, pulling it loose with a few quick jerks. "If this isn't cool let me know." He muttered looping the belt around Adam's wrists before attaching it to the headboard.

Adam squirmed and pulled at the belt, knowing that if he really wanted to get his hands free he could, but secretly liking the restraint. Tommy grinned down at a him and he felt his gut tighten and blood pulse between his legs. He was in so much trouble.

Tommy made quick work of Adam's jeans and underwear, leaving him exposed and half hard, sprawled across Tommy's messy sheets. Tommy's eyes raked over his body in a long burning line and Adam felt color spread across his cheeks and he pulled his knees together suddenly feeling shy.

Tommy stopped him with a hand on his thigh, his thumb stroking soothing circles. Adam swallowed and let his legs fall open again. Tommy hummed approvingly, moving to press himself against Adam's body.

Adam tentatively wrapped his legs around Tommy's waist, squeezing slightly. Tommy grinned before sliding their lips together. Adam could feel the heavy heat of Tommy's erection as it pressed against his hip, Tommy's boxers not concealing much of anything.

A shudder rippled through Adam's body as Tommy trailed his fingers up Adam's arms before reaching inside the plastic bag that had been forgotten next to his head. He pulled out the contents and tossed the bag on the floor before leaning back and dropping the box of condoms next to Adam's hip.

Adam felt himself harden further when Tommy ground his erection against the crux of his thigh. "I'll go slowly. If you need me to go slower, just let me know." Tommy whispered as he started pulling the plastic wrapping off the bottle of lube.

Adam nodded, shifting his wrists in the loop of the belt, the gentle scrap of the leather against the tender skin helping ground him in the moment. He still felt nervous as Tommy guided each foot flat on the bed and Adam slowly let his knees fall open. He watched Tommy's face as he focused on him with wrapped attention. Tommy's eyes never strayed from between his legs as he popped open the little bottle and warmed a small amount of lube in his hand.

Adam's erection was straining against his stomach now, his breath coming in quick puffs. He tried to take a deeper breath and force himself to relax, it wasn't the first time Tommy had fingered him, there wasn't anything to be nervous about. Yet. He still jumped slightly at the first brush of Tommy's fingers against the tightly furrowed muscles.

Tommy adjusted himself with his other hand, giving his hard length a few strokes through the plaid fabric. Adam unconsciously clenched his fits and pulled against the leather belt as Tommy's finger slipped inside, sliding smoothing to the second knuckle.

"You've been touching yourself." Tommy teased, crooking his finger and quickly finding that sweet spot inside Adam, making him gasp and arch his hips off the bed.

"Every now and then." Adam breathed, wrapping his fingers around the belt above his head, clinging to it like a lift raft as Tommy slipped another finger inside, the stretch just on the edge of burning.

Tommy dug his fingers across Adam's prostate again, and he felt his body jerk and precome dribble onto his stomach.

"You know, they say if I get you off first it will help you relax." Tommy mummered as he watched his fingers disappear into Adam.

"Don't you dare, I want you inside me when I come." Adam hissed pulling on the belt around his wrists as he pressed down on Tommy's fingers.

Tommy chuckled as his dribbled more lube over his fingers before pressing a third inside. Adam grunted at the burn but Tommy quickly soothed it with his gentle stroking. "Jesus Adam, I wish you could see yourself right now."

Adam choked on a gasp, his erection jerking against his stomach again, the reverence of Tommy's voice taking his breath away. Tommy leaned down and licked into his slack lips and Adam moaned, arching his back to brush his chest against Tommy's.

"Are you ready?" Tommy asked against his lips. Adam nodded quickly, leaning up to search for Tommy' lips. Tommy pulled back a fraction of an inch and waited for Adam to meet his eye. "I need to hear you say it."

"I-I'm ready." Adam stuttered, ignoring the strain in his shoulders as he followed Tommy's lips, sucking and nipping on them. Tommy groaned, his free hand grazing Adam's straining chest.

A few breathless moments later Adam' collapsed back on the bed and wrapped his legs around Tommy's waist, grinding against him in invitation.

Tommy ran his clean hand over his face and pushed his hair out of his eyes before scrambling for the unopened box of condoms laying forgotten next to Adam's hip. He slipped his fingers out of Adam who whimpered at the lost. Moments later the cardboard box was left in pieces and the strip of foil packets where laid across Adam's tense stomach as Tommy quickly discarded his boxers, his length looking red and angry.

Tommy tore off the first one and tossed the others to the side while bringing the foil package to his lips, tearing it open with his teeth. Adam throbbed with want as he watched the ridiculous lime green condom as it was rolled down Tommy's erection.

Adam licked his lips as Tommy poured more lube over the condom and smoothed it over his length in slow teasing pulls. Adam's heart was pounding in his chest as he raised his hips as Tommy moved to line himself up, his fingernails digging grooves into the leather around his wrists.

When Tommy pushed inside it felt like his heart stopped. The stretch was nearly painful and he gasped biting his lip. Tommy stopped with just the head inside and took a deep breath, his muscles straining and trembling above him.

"Bare down like you're trying to push me out." He whispered, his voice broken and cracked.

Adam concentrated on following Tommy's advice and he felt him slip further inside. The both let out low moans as Tommy slowly sank into the hilt.

"Oh fuck." Tommy muttered, his whole body tense, Adam knew he was trying to give him a chance to adjust and he did his best to relax against the strangeness of the feeling of being filled with Tommy.

It seemed like minutes but it was probably only seconds as the burn subsided and Adam shifted, exploring the feeling of fullness. His tiny movements brushed his leaking erection against the hard plains of Tommy's abs.

"Tommy...take my hands down.." Adam whispered pulling uselessly at his wrists. Any other time he would have been able to wiggle his hands free but his fingers fumbled ineffectually against the leather. It took a moment for Tommy to register the request, his eyes squeezed shut and his breathing short and fast. Tommy shook his head and reached up to help free Adam's wrists.

Before Adam could think he had his hands buried in Tommy's hair and he pulled him down, crashing their lips together.

"Move. Please move." Adam whimpered against Tommy's ear, his nails digging into the meat of Tommy's shoulders.

Tommy groaned and pulled about half way out before pushing back inside slowly. Adam gasps and clung to Tommy as he slowly build a rolling pace.

Tommy gathered Adam's knees against his chest and changed the angle, letting him brush against his prostate with each slow thrust. It was a different feeling from when he touched it with his fingers, more of low throb of pleasure rather than a sharp spike but he soon found himself crying out wordlessly and trying to roll his hips to get more of the sensation.

Adam muttered encouragements to Tommy, edging on begging him to move faster or harder. Tommy moaned against Adam's lips and tried to comply, the sound of their bodies colliding filling the room.

Neither of them was going to last much longer and Adam wormed a hand between their bodies jerking himself frantically. Tommy pulled back on his knees, holding Adam's knees apart as he watched Adam's hand as he worked himself.

Adam worried his lip as he felt himself getting close, his body starting to clench down on Tommy's cock as he raced towards his orgasm. Tommy apparently could tell because he picked up his pace, bending Adam nearly in half so that he could suck his lip from between his teeth.

Adam wailed as his orgasm was ripped out of him, his whole body arching as he clamped down hard on Tommy. Adam grunted with each wave of pleasure as he spurted between their bodies and over his fist. When he was finally spent Adam collapsed against the moist sheets gulping down air, his eyes squeezed closed as he rode through the aftershocks.

Tommy was moving desperately, obviously close himself and even though he was starting to feel over sensitive Adam squeezed down around him. Tommy's fingers were gripping his thighs in a bruising grip as he pounded into Adam at a relentless pace.

"Oh god.. Adam.."Tommy whispered before a sound that Adam could only describe as "pained" ripped out of him. Tommy's hips stuttered in a off kilter rhythm as he came, his face twisted almost as if he was in pain. Tommy came to a halt buried deep inside him and shuddered uncontrollably before he collapsed against Adam's chest.

They both laid there for a moment, fighting to catch their breath. Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy and held him close, dropping kisses against any skin he could reach. All to soon Tommy was moving, gripping the condom as he pulled out slowly. Adam winced already feeling sore and oddly open.

Adam couldn't fight the giggle that ripped out of him as Tommy moved the throw away the ugly green condom. "I think I see why you picked colors, brings a bit of humor." Adam muttered grabbing Tommy's arm and pulling him back on the the bed, cuddling up close to his back.

They lay like that for a long time, the sun long gone as the snoozed. Adam found himself dozing but still half awake, he felt sticky and wrung out, his mind drifting to his laptop sitting on the kitchen table. Tommy shifted in his sleep and turned pulling Adam into the warmth of his arms and before long Adam sighed and let himself finally drift off.

When Adam woke up to a empty bed he looked around confused. He reached out a hand and felt that the sheets were still warm but Tommy was no where to be found. Adam stretched and looked around for some cloths and he settled on Tommy's green plaid boxers that were still hanging from the side of the mattress.

Adam winced as he moved, feeling sore muscles in places he'd never been sore before. He smiled softly as he stood and went to the bathroom on wobbly legs. He washed his hands and any other dried patches of fluids before trying to tame down his ear length hair but quickly gave up. The only way to save that mess was a shower.

With a resigned sigh he wondered out of the bathroom towards the kitchen where he pulled open the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water chugging it down half way before he heard the mummer of soft voiced behind him. The angry sounding one was Tommy but he didn't know the other voice. When he turned he saw a slightly taller man trying to push open the door as Tommy was trying to close it. Adam realized he was caught when the taller man's piercing blue eyes met his.

"Come on Tommy... is that you're 'friend'? I want to meet him!"

"It's none of your business Brendan." Tommy hissed once again trying to close the door.

"I'm your fucking brother you asshole. I deserve to meet him!"

Tommy finally sighed and relented. "Go put some close on Adam and then come meet Brendan." Tommy sounded more than a little annoyed and Adam moved quickly back to the bedroom to throw on whatever he could find.

When he returned to the kitchen looking a little less fucked out, Brendan and Tommy were seated on at the small table, steaming cups of coffee sitting ignored on the table.

They fell silent as he walked by to fix his own cup, needing the caffeine jump-start before he met the family. He sipped on his black coffee as he sat down in the empty seat next to Tommy and shook Brendan's offered hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Tommy's older brother Brendan. I didn't know he had a guest, I was just here to visit and apparently Tommy forgot. Now I see why." He said with a good natured grin as he kicked Tommy's shin in a playful brotherly way under the table.

Tommy glared at Brendan over the rim of his coffee cup and Adam felt like he needed to apologize.

Brendan snickered and told him there was no need to be sorry. "I'm happy to know my kid brother is finally getting some." Adam blushed furiously and tried to hide it behind his own coffee cup. "Seriously though, it's nice to see Tommy happy."

Adam jumped a little when he felt Tommy's hand squeezed his thigh under the table.

"So Tommy, Adam, how about lunch?" Brendan suggested looking between the two of them.

"Tommy why don't you go and I'll stay behind. I have some work to do and you need to spend some time with your brother."

Tommy reluctantly agreed and left his brother with Adam while he went to go get dressed. Brendan and Adam made some small awkward small talk before Tommy reappeared looking way more put together than Adam.

"Well Adam, it was nice to meet you. Maybe next time Tommy can bring you up to see the sprouts. I'm sure Tess has plenty of pictures to show you that will embarrass Tommy.. Oh! Remember your little tea party with the girls? I think Tess framed that one.." Brendan was cut off by Tommy's had over his mouth as he turned and led his brother to the front door.

Adam couldn't help but chuckle as he watched Tommy muscle the taller man out the door before shooting a wink in his direction. Once they were gone Adam settled down on the couch with his laptop and scanned his email.

His heart nearly skipped a beat when he noticed a response from the documentary crew he was trying to join.

"Mr. Lerner, we are proud to welcome you to our crew.."

Adam hooted and pumped his fist in the air. He quickly responded to the email and called Kyle to tell him the good news. Now he had to wait for Tommy to get back so he could tell him as well.

Two hours later Tommy opened the front door and quickly came to sit next to Adam letting out an exhausted sigh.

"I have some news.." Adam started, moving to press himself up under Tommy's arm.

"Humm?" Tommy looked at him curiously.

"OK.. it's a bit of a long story so I'll start at the beginning. A few months ago before I started back to work at the station Kyle showed me the page on Kick-starter for a documentary crew that was looking for people with journalist experience to help with a up coming film they wanted to make." Adam paused and worried his lip knowing this was the moment of truth. He hopes Tommy will be happy but he can never be sure how he will react. "Well I got the job!"

Tommy seemed hesitantly excited as he congratulated him. "What's the documentary on? Is it there in Seattle?"

"Well actually. It's going to involve some travel." He saw Tommy's grin slip so he rushed forward trying to not worry the other man. "I'm going to be following the Pittsburgh fight club for a MMA documentary."

Shock spread across Tommy's face, then realization, followed quickly by smile Adam had rarely seen. A smile that showed all of Tommy's adorably crooked teeth.

"So how long are you going to be working on this?" Tommy asked nuzzling into Adam's neck, dropping gentle kisses along the tender skin.

"8 months. Starting at the beginning of September." Adam replies, his voice getting breathy.

"So... in two months you're going to need somewhere to stay right?" Tommy asked grazing his lips along Adam's jaw.

"I thought you'd never ask." Adam whispered grabbing either side of Tommy's face and parting his lips with his tongue. Somehow he knew this was going to be hard but it was going to be worth it. Adam smiled to himself as he pulled Tommy on top of him. This was only the beginning after all.


End file.
